All Adults Should Have a Spark Station

by Mary Ann on May 8, 2010

When we think of the Spark Station we think of core phase and love of learning phase, children ages 0 to about 12. That leads us to thinking about homeschooling and the parents who are engaged in that process. However, I want to talk about the broader uses for the Spark Station.

Of course I have a Spark Station and it is cool. I also have another space where I store toys, puzzles and games that we can use any time. I adhere to the 5 Rules of Engagement that make the Spark Station successful.

1. Structure time not content

2. Be present

3. Make it special – the contents are used only during a special structured time each day

4. Keep it simple. When you add an item remove an item to keep it manageable, as well as exciting

5. Plan

I suggest that every person who has children who visit them have a Spark Station. For one thing it’s just plain cool. Wouldn’t you like to visit a relative, babysitter or friend who had a container full of wonderful things to interact with and that it was so special you only got to use it at special times? Sure you would! It would make going to that persons home a delightful prospect.

Secondly, if you are the older person, the single person, or even the younger babysitting person (didn’t you ever have a babysitting bag!) who needed to deal with one or more children over a few hours to a few days, the Spark Station would really help you keep your sanity. No really, I love children but my grandchildren can wear me right out. I don’t want to be running after them all the time. Sometimes it is so refreshing to sit down and watch them cut, color, paste and glue. Their concentration is exhilarating and I usually just get right into it with them. I love gathering them around me and reading a good book while they sew or string beads or some other quite activity. And I like talking about places and people and things that interest me and that also interest them. The Spark Station makes that all possible.

Third, parenting is hard! Don’t you remember when you were a parent? Weren’t their days when you just knew you weren’t giving them enough, when you worried that home was a bit boring or when frankly, you really needed a break? We have all felt that as parents. So it’s wonderful to have relatives or friends who help us out with this job that is overwhelming at times.

It would be terrific to know that when your kids are at grandma’s they might be making Indian masks and talking about igloos or hunting or some ancient culture. It would be great to know that at Aunt Marge’s they will be sure to make some beautiful jewelry while listening to Robinson Crusoe or some other great book. It would be a relief if while you were getting that break you needed your sitter was inspiring your kids with some great math game or science project. This remarkable community effort can only happen on behalf of parents and children when those who aren’t their parents prepare ahead and have the resources. So I want to spread the word about the Spark Station because it is a simple tool that anyone can put together and use for the benefit of children and their parents.

In the next blog I want to introduce you to Grandparent letters. If you have parents or older friends that play that role for your children you will want them to read this!!

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Grandparents Be Mentors

by Mary Ann on May 8, 2010

When I was out today I saw two grandpas’s walking with their very small grandchildren. Both were so interested in what their grandchildren were showing them. Both were smiling broadly and obviously enjoying every minute. The small children were holding a much larger finger, tugging them along. It was as if they couldn’t wait to get to the next interesting thing to show grandpa. There was obviously a great deal of trust and love on both parts.

There is an amazing dynamic between grandparents and their grandchildren. I have often thought that this stage of life was God’s payment for the first stage – raising our children!

It is an opportunity to be less preoccupied with the cares of life, to be freer to love unconditionally. It is a time to nurture more, criticize less, hug more, kiss more, and smile more. Possibly it feels this way because we have raised our children and have learned, finally, what really matters.

If we are still working, still stressed, still burdened with life it just seems that once these precious little souls make an appearance we feel drawn to them in a different way than we were to our children. We don’tusually carry the load of feeding, clothing and disciplining them. We are freer to look at them, really see them; freer to listen and hear them. This is true whether they live down the street or in another country. It isn’t about their actual presence with us but the feeling that comes with being a grandparent.

This is a time when we can have significant influence for good on a new generation. We are wiser, kinder, happier, and freer. Because of this we can help our children do better at what we have already done. We have the wonderful opportunity to help shape character, send messages about core values and inspire our grandchildren to love to learn.

I thought about these things for many years. I wondered how I could touch my grandchildren’s lives and help their parents shoulder the burden of teaching them. At some point I realized that there were ways that I could do this even at a distance. It has been exciting.

In the next two blogs I will share the value of every adult having a Spark Station for children who live with them or visit them. I will share information about Spark Station letters, a fun way to inspire any child.

I have been writing these Spark Station letters to my grandchildren for some months now. However, April was a really tough and busy month. I just didn’t get them done, not even one. I let myself get stuck in the thick of thin things and let those that matter fall by the wayside. I forgot to take my own advice!

Aubrey

My daughter called me a day or so ago. She mentioned that Aubrey, my soon to be eleven year old granddaughter had asked about the letters. She said that Aubrey seemed genuinely disappointed to not have received the April letter. I wrote Aubrey yesterday about the 2010 Census and its history. You might think that would be boring but these are the types of things I put in all my letters. What I have learned is that children are hungry for knowledge about everything. They love to learn. We can feed that love by inspiring them with The Spark Station and Spark Station letters. We can turn that love into a burning desire to self educate. We can assist parents in this most important part of their work. We can be mentors!

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The Thick of Thin Things

by Mary Ann on May 7, 2010

The Palmers

I got a call from one of the mom’s that I have coached. She has three children and has been having structured family learning time and using her Spark Station to inspire her children.  I helped her get started and she has been doing a fine job and her children have been very happy with “school” and mom.

Her call was very interesting. She wanted to share a problem that she has encountered and her solution. I bet that some of the rest of you are struggling with the same thing. She is having a hard time staying committed to a structured family learning time. During that time the phone rings and she just has to answer – it might be important! Also, the computer has a siren song for her. The kids will be playing and using the contents of The Spark Station and she will just step over to glance at the computer screen. What harm can it do, right!

As this mom put it to me, “during school time it is a tool of Satan!” Pretty strong words! That tells you the level of frustration that this mom feels at her willingness to let the unimportant intrude on the important. Don’t we all feel just like that? There is so much pressing in on our lives and to take out 2-3 hours just to be with our children, as much as we love them, is really hard.

Mary and Maggie

This mom wants to create a culture of family solidarity and learning in her home. She does want to continue her own education and model that for her little children. She really does want her children to know that they come first, that she loves being with them, and values her time with them. But this mom is struggling with the temptation to not stay present, to walk away for just a moment and take care of what is coming in from the world. She feels terrible about that.

So she called to tell me her solution. She has decided to turn her computer off every night so that in the morning that big beguiling eye is not winking at her. She has decided to turn her phone off during their family structured learning time. She has decided to be truer to her family and herself. I consider her very brave! My hat is off to her. I think that this is a fortunate family.

This mom has really internalized what Steven Covey so eloquently said, “Don’t get stuck in the thick of thin things.”

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Deciding to Use the TJED Model

by Mary Ann on May 7, 2010

“Mommy is it time for school yet.” My friend Jen, the mother of a family I have been working with, was amazed to be awakened in the wee hours of the morning to this question. As mom’s who are spending 24-7 with our children, we are not used to hearing words as positive and affirming as this. But these are exactly the kinds of statements that parents who learn to use the “5 Rules of engagement” and “The Spark Station” hear from their children. “Can we have school again, now?” “Mom, I can’t wait until tomorrow to do home school and sit in our library and read together!”

When you learn how to organize a Spark Station space, a place where you can inspire your children, you can absolutely have this kind of response.

The Spark Station by it very nature creates this kind of excitement for children. Remember that The Spark Station is a tool that is designed to be used during the core and love of learning phases. That is between the ages of 0 to about 12. I call those years the “time of wonder”. Everything is new, fresh, interesting, unknown. Children naturally want to learn about the world they live in and the people that populate it, their family. If we can tap into this natural inclination and avoid derailing it, wonderful learning can take place that will impact them all their lives.

To do this in the truest sense sometimes takes us out of our social comfort zone. We find that we don’t fit into the parenting crowd. Other parents judge our sanity and wonder if we are ruining our kids. This happens not only in home school families but in those families who use public and private education but structure their family time based on Leadership Education (TJEd) principles. When you decide to use this model then you have to believe in the model and in your children’s ability to learn(TJEd blog).

You have to have a firm intent to raise leaders. You have to decide! I have worked with a few families that are intrigued by the leadership model but they really haven’t made it their intent. They are homeschooling or patterning their family activities on the Leadership Model but they aren’t firmly committed to it. They don’t trust the process. Therefore they are constantly second guessing themselves and listening to the advice of those who don’t understand this particular education model. This ambivalence is a painful place to try to home school from or to try and build a leadership home from.

The Spark Station can’t cure this disease of non-belief and lack of trust in the process – that your children can and will learn on their own; that they are designed to educate themselves with the proper environment and mentors. Until parents are fully committed to a Leadership Model of Education they will struggle with every wind of doubt that comes their way.

I want families to learn how to use The Spark Station and other tools to help their children educate themselves. But  first parents have to be helped to trust and believe in the  the Leadership model if that is what they are choosing to use. There are some wonderful books that can help. If you, as a parent, haven’t read them I highly recommend that you do whether you home school or not. The concepts found in their pages can help you have a drastic shift in how you see education and your role in it for yourself and your family. They can and will help you cement your intent to have a home where leaders and statesmen are raised.

Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning by Rachel and Oliver DeMille;

A Thomas Jefferson Education by Oliver DeMille;

A Thomas Jefferson Education Home Companion by Oliver DeMille, Rachel DeMille and Diann Jeppson

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