What Does it mean to have Our Ducks in a Row

by Mary Ann on November 21, 2014

ducks

Have you ever really needed and wanted to be at the top of your game? Me too! Recently in a mentoring session a mom said that very thing to me, that she needed to get all her ducks in a row. In the same conversation she said she wanted to be at the top of her game. Wow, that was red flag conversation for me and I asked her what being at the top of her game and having her ducks in a row meant.

Let me bring you up to speed. This was a homeschooling mom. She has a few children but she was also in the process of preparing for an older, married daughter to come home with her family.

When I asked her what it meant to be at the top of her game and have her ducks in a row she laid it all out – house clean and in order, all the stuff purchased for the huge breakfast spread she usually puts on, making sure everyone was fed and entertained the whole time…you get the picture.

I then asked her, “Well, what do you think God would say if you asked Him what it meant to have all of your ducks in a row and to be at the top of your game. That stopped her in her tacks and she had to think. It was a very different list – hug everyone, talk to each other, be calm, smile a lot, feel peace, enjoy my family…you get the picture.

So we brainstormed how she could be at the top of her game and have her ducks in a row God’s way and not worry so much about her way.

I am happy to report that she and her family had a wonderful time. It was peaceful and fun and restful. She talked and laughed and hugged a lot. Here is one example of what that actually looked like.

The morning of the usual HUGE breakfast spread she got up, made coffee, poured a cup and went into the living room where her daughter in law was. She sat down beside her and they had a long and lovely conversation. No HUGE breakfast spread, just an ordinary breakfast shared with family.

I have learned from long and sometimes bungled experience, whether we are homeschooling or not,  that what our families really want is us, our time, our face, our heart, our ears. They want us. Hash browns, pancakes, eggs, toast, and the most beautiful fruit plate just cannot compete with smiling eyes and our Presence.

This holiday season lets get our ducks in a row and be at the top of our game God’s way. Lets give our families the gift of Presence and Peace.

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To Waste or Not to Waste, That Is The Question

by Mary Ann on November 3, 2014

It takes "stuff" for kids to create

It takes “stuff” for kids to create

Recently someone asked me how I handled it when my children wanted to make something that I knew wasn’t going to be of any use after it was created. How did I feel about them wasting paper, glue and such? That was a really great question and I have been thinking a lot about it. I would change the question to “How do we determine when materials are being well used and when are they being wasted.”

It Takes Lots of “Stuff” for Children to Create

I have seven children, ages 42 through 24. So I have used a lot of paste, glue, rubber bands, construction paper, paper tubes, egg cartons, etc. in my time. We have used thousands of crayons, gone through a few dozen pairs of scissors, innumerable pencils and pens, not to mention compasses, rulers and other drawing devices. We have used rolls of paper, tape, gallons of paint and brushes. In short, we have consumed a great deal of resources.

How do I feel about that? Really, really happy!! Let me share two experiences I have had with children that will demonstrate why I am happy when children use up resources and how I know whether they were well used or just wasted.

The Boat That Was Used For Months!

home made kids boatg_tao_-_2When my youngest daughter was about 7 we had purchased something from somewhere that came in a large wooden crate. Of course a large wooden crate is like a magnet for kids. She and her friend were all over that crate. They played in it and on it for a few days.

One day Kate came and asked for paint and brushes. When I questioned what she wanted them for she said it was to paint “the boat”. So I gave her some. I never went to see what was happening. I knew they were painting the wooden crate and that now it was a boat and I figured all would be well. They hadn’t asked for my help and I was pretty sure they didn’t want it either.

Next she came in and asked me for a piece of material to make a sail. So I got one for her. She asked if I could help her figure out how to get the sail to stay up. I went out to the boat, gave her some directions and she and her friend went to work. Through out the day they came in and asked me for this thing and that thing and I got whatever they needed or something else that would work.

I didn’t go out to the boat again until they came to say it was done and for me to come and see. Wow! It was such a wonderful thing for a couple of 7 year olds to have created. They played in that boat for a long time. I think they loved it even more because they had made it themselves.

The Four Day, Useless Robot

This summer, Jack, my 6 year old grandson, came in and asked me for a couple of empty paper towel tubes and some glue, “real sticky glue,”

See the random balls and broken necklace. Doesn't look like a robot, right?

See the random balls and broken necklace. Doesn’t look like a robot, right?

he said. Being the amazing grandma and Spark Station expert that I am, I, of course, had them. I asked Jack what he was making and he said, “A robot”.

Later in the day I had to go upstairs and out to the car for something and as I went out the back door there was Jack busily working away on his robot. It was a square piece of plywood laying flat on the ground. He had used half a jar of glue to glue two round balls on the board and a length of broken necklace. Hmmmm, what in the heck was that. When I went back downstairs I told my husband that he wasn’t making a robot, he was just gluing stuff to piece of board.

The Practically Perfect Robot

The Practically Perfect Robot

The next day as I left for work I was stopped dead in my tracks because right there, at the bottom of the outside steps, was a perfect robot.

Jack had envisioned a robot from a square piece of board and then over the course of half a day he had assembled all the materials he needed and he had created it. I was so amazed. It had looked like a junky piece of board covered with glue and odds and ends the day before, but Jack knew what he was doing. There it was a fabulous and perfect robot.

That robot lay there at the bottom of the outside steps for about four days until it rained. Then

the pieces were gathered up and it went to the junk yard in the sky. Jack’s robot couldn’t be played with or hung on the wall or anything worth while like the boat.

So the question I ask you is, “Was it a waste of materials for Jack to build the robot and should we let kids waste materials to create something that doesn’t have any good use?

My answer would be a resounding YES!!!

In both stories the child had to conceive an idea. Then they had to determine what materials they needed to bring that idea to life. Then they had to take the initiative to gather the materials and organize them in such a way that their vision came to life.

In both cases, since I was somewhat involved and know, they had to do some considerable problem solving to make things work out. They Girls making craftsworked independently for the most part, trusting themselves that they could figure it out and get the job done. At the same time they had to determine when they needed to ask for help, and exactly what help they needed. In Jack’s case, he had to figure out how to get the job done with two smaller siblings getting in the way. Yelling or hitting wasn’t an option. He had to use some diplomacy.

In both cases the child was able to look at their finished product and beam from ear to ear because they both knew they had created something and done a spectacular job. They both felt proud for a number of days about their success. Their belief in themselves was strengthened and their ability to “do” increased.

When I look at the results that came from the use of the materials in both cases I have to think that those materials were used practically perfectly. They accomplished what paint, glue, junk, brushes, rubber bands, castoffs, scissors, pencil, pens and all the rest were designed for…to help people do the work of creating and problem solving, and then feel more capable and able than when they started, and feel the pride of having accomplished something that mattered to them.

How do we really know when resources are being well used? The first point is to recognize that adults and children are different in a significant way.

Adults are End-Product Driven but Children are Process Driven

Kids gingerbread housesI have always asserted that children are not adults and consequently they do not think like adults. Adults are end product driven but children are process driven. We as adults care so much about how a thing turns out and if it’s useful. Children care about how it feels to create something. However it turns out they are proud and satisfied unless some adult points out all the flaws.

I have helped a few thousand children in grade schools and home schools make gingerbread houses. I know how creative they are. I also saw many teachers and parents correct their efforts. “Tin foil balls do not belong on chimneys.” “Windows go on the side and not on the roof.” “You have to cover ALL the cracks or it won’t look nice.”

I have seen a child look at their creation with such wonder and joy only to have a parent or teacher point out what they didn’t do correctly. I have seen their pride and joy turn to shame that they didn’t do it “right.”

Remember, you care about the end product. You are going to be viewing your children’s activities through those lenses—unless of course you will consciously take those glasses off in order to see what your children see.

Children care about the process, and how it feels to create. In their minds they see a genius that’s just created a masterpiece. If we can see that too, then our children’s abilities and capabilities will grow and grow until their end products become more recognizably genius.

I Say LET THEM CREATE!

So I say let them create. Don’t manage their efforts. Don’t worry so much about waste. Think instead of what they gain by the act of creation:

• Increased visionInventions
• Initiative
• The ability to bring the vision to life
• The ability to gather together what is needed
• The ability to problem solve
• The ability to work independently
• Learn when to ask for help and what help they need
• Learn to work well with others
• Develop leadership skills and attitudes
• Develop to manage crisis more effectively
• Learn to use diplomacy

If you’ll decide to see your children’s projects differently—how does it feel to your child, and what is the process of creating really teaching them—then you can better evaluate the “right” use of materials.

Besides, couldn’t we use a few more adults around who weren’t afraid to turn their dreams into a reality, because they spent their childhood doing it?

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I Would Love Your Feedback

by Mary Ann on September 16, 2014

Mary Ann Johnson

Mary Ann Johnson

Dear Friends, those who visit my blog, take my classes and seminars and love learning with your children, I would really like some help from you. I have reached out on my Facebook fan page and have sent out a large email but just in case you missed all of that, I am posting it here.

I am in the process of writing a book (Yes, I know many of you have been waiting. Really, it is coming soon!) I am also updating some products and creating others. So I could use some input which will really go along way to helping me do a good job.

If you have created a Spark Station I want to hear from you. What went right. What didn’t work so well. What was really clear to you. What were your questions. What didn’t you quite understand. Did this tool work for you. If yes, in what ways. If not, what were the problems. 

If you have taken any of my classes on Sparks or listened to any audios or videos I want to know how this information has impacted you. Did it help you see more clearly what your children were interested in? What Sparks did you see, how did you respond and what were the results for your family. And if you have had some less than stellar experiences with Sparks I want to hear about those too. : )

If you have taken any classes or listened to any audios on Being Present I want to know how this information has impacted you.

Have you used any of the Rockin Spark Station Learning Packets? How have they worked for you. What do you love? What isn’t working ? What changes would you like to see? Are they use friendly, too much info, to little, etc. What changes would be helpful. Do you use them in conjunction with the Spark Station or do you use them on their own? If you have even just seen or used one let me hear from you. : ) If you have looked at them and wanted to order them but haven’t, why not. Is it the price or something else?

Are there any other issues, problems or educational culture issues you would like to see me address and in what format. If you were personally mentoring with me what topics would you want to cover that would help you manage your family and/or homeschooling efforts better.

You can leave your comments here, you can PM on the Facebook Fanpage or use the contact tab above. I really want to hear your stories.

As a thank you for your time and caring concern I want to give you a gift of a Rockin Spark Station Packet just in time for Christmas. It is called The Week Before Christmas and will really ramp up your Christmas season easily and inexpensively. This gives you plenty of time to look it over and make some plans. When you leave a comment, PM me or contact me via email, I will immediately send it right to your inbox. : )

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Using the Spark Station More Effectivly

by Mary Ann on September 6, 2014

i-want-to-know
Dear Mary Ann,

Am I supposed to put activities in [The Spark Station] and just observe/be present with Max rather than jumping in and giving the ideas? It almost seems counter productive to make it educational or rather me go in with an educational agenda if the whole point is for us to connect. So would that mean I should have Spark Station and when I get to it, have kid school separate? Then in the kids school I can focus more on the things I want him to be learning or rather sharing with him what I am learning

The Purpose of the Spark Station

 

When you are working with a child under 6 they will usually want you to play with them and be with them. For them it is all about being with you and having that really nice “family” feeling. That is the connection part if you are really mentally Present during this time.

Here are the key points to the purpose of the Spark Station:boy with rocks

• The nature of the Spark Station enhances a child’s interest in learning. Nothing is required. Children are inspired!
• It is most effective with ages 0-12/13.
• It tends to create family togetherness and connection.
• It is designed to help you teach core values, help you be present, allow children to play and learn in a stress free atmosphere where their interests are honored.
• It is just plain fun for both children and adults.

Regardless of what you have in your Spark Station, you let them choose what they want to engage with. If they ask questions answer them. If they want you to play, play. If they seem content to just explore on their own, let them.

Why Have Educational Items in the Spark Station

learningThe point of having things that are educational in your Spark Station is that it is fun to learn and it creates a culture of learning. We all want our children to enjoy learning, want to learn and frankly just be part of a culture where learning is what we do.

Remember that practically anything you put in the Spark Station will be educational for a child Max’s age. Everything is interesting to them and they learn by exploring, feeling, and playing. In fact play is the main way that younger children learn. It is only adults that think of play as separate from learning.

Let’s say you have put a small package of plastic dinosaurs in the Spark Station for four year old Max. He will open the package, take them out, handle them all over, and maybe ask a question or two. He may growl and want to chase you with one. You play and then begin a mini conversation.

“Max what do you think dinosaurs eat?” He might respond with “I don’t know” or “other dinosaurs”.

“Well, some ate meat and some ate plants. Do you know what a meat eater is called?”

“No.”

“Carnivore, grrrrrr” (hands up like claws and reach for the child) Do you know what plant eaters are called?”

“No”.

“Herbivores.”

While I was answering this email for you my 4 and 6 year old grandchildren were watching television in my home. I looked up and animal conceptsasked the question about meat eaters and had this same conversation with my six year old grandson.

The only difference was that he knew the name for meat eaters and plant eaters. One of the reasons he knows this is because we have had this same mini-conversation a few times before or something like it.

Then my 6 year old grandson said, “I am just a carnivore.” I asked him if he eats any plants like grapes or carrots. He smiled a mischievous smile and said, “no”. So I replied, “Well if you did eat plants you would be a carnivore and an herbivore. He laughed. Then I asked, “Jack if you eat both plants and animals I don’t have to say you are a carnivore and an herbivore; you would be an omnivore. Mary the 4 year old popped up and said, “Well I am an omnivore.” Then Jack repeated the word. Big smiles and the mini-conversation was done. See what a small package of plastic dinos can do. : )

I know families that have special work books in the Spark Station. They are only available when the Spark Station is and they aren’t required and so children want to use them. The field of “what do I put in there” is wide open! And it is all educational!

Learning is connecting, when it happens in a family. And this is the point of the Spark Station, to connect with your children in really fun, interesting and exciting ways while they are learning.

When to Use the Spark Station

As to your question about when to use the Spark Station, there are multiple answers for that. It all depends on what you need and what you are trying to accomplish.

Maggie and Jack in Spark StationDifferent families have different needs for the Spark Station –

• The Spark Station – a space used during family learning time or school time to enhance your child’s desire to learn and your ability to stay present with them.
• After School Station – a space to unwind from school, reconnect with family in ways besides videos games, and TV.
• Just before Bed Station – a space to help the family gear down for the night.
• Dad and Me Station– a space to help dad spend some quality time with younger children.
• Family Home Evening Station– a space used after your lesson for added anticipation, fun and excitement.
• Sunday Station – a space used to help keep the Sabbath day holy.
• Love of Learning Bag – a space used while traveling to keep children occupied, happy and learning
• Love of Learning Letters – A way for grandparents and those far away to influence and share with the children they love
• Traveling Spark Station – A basket or other container that you fill and carry to children that you are visiting.

If you are using it as an educational tool then it can be used in conjunction with what ever else you do in school or it can be used separately. Many families have a school time that looks something like this:

• Devotional
• Family reading
• Math
• Free Learning (This is when the Spark station is offered as one of the learning options along with the family library, writing materials and so forth
• Etc.

Other families, who have really young children may have a school system that looks like this:

• Devotional
• Song
• The Spark Station

Either scenario works and there are dozens of other make ups for a school day and how the Spark Station might fit in.

When moms have specific things they want to teach or share they can put key items in the Spark Station to get the ball rolling. It might look like this:

You want to teach math patterns. So you put long strips of construction paper and a package of assorted stickers in the Spark Station. When the Spark Station is opened and a child is free to use it, they may get out the container with the stickers and construction paper strips and ask, “Mom, what’s this for.” You would reply,” I thought you might like to make some patterns.”

“What’s patterns?”

simple patterns caterpillar picture

Maggie’s simple pattern caterpillar

“Let me show you.” Then you take a construction paper strip and use some stickers to make a simple pattern.

“Now you make one.” You let the child begin, giving small helps as they need them, helping them come to an understanding of what a pattern is.

Another option that some use is to teach what they want in more of a mom school setting. There is kid’s free time to learn where the Spark Station is available and then there is Mom School, where mom teaches something.

The ways to use the Spark station are many and varied and you can experiment with what works best for you and your children. Hope this helps.

Warmly,
Mary Ann

Please share how you use the Spark Station in your home and school time. We all really want to know. : )

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