Win Some FREE Tickets!!!

by Mary Ann on February 20, 2012

Join me for an exciting day of LEARNING!

March 3 I am doing an all day Parenting Workshop in Salt Lake City and I would like to give a few tickets away (ticket includes your spouse) to my readers who are close enough to attend.

Would you like to understand:
• What causes overwhelm? It isn’t about time!
• Learn to control your negative thoughts for more powerful parenting
• Some tools to create a greater parent/child connection.
• The power of relationships when teaching your children.
• How to create feelings of peace rather than tick things off a list, and have an epiphany about time management in your family

If this is information that would be of value to you then drop me an email.  I will put all the names in a pot and draw a few out on Saturday Feb 25. I would love to have you there! ([email protected])

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Importance of Family Culture in Core Phase

by Mary Ann on February 17, 2012

family working together picture

Core is about families learning together

An interesting letter was posted on a home school group that I visit regularly, TJED Muse. Donna Goff made a reply that I think has merit and can be of assistance to any modern day parent. She has graciously given me permission to share it with you. I hope that you enjoy her comments as I did.

 Core Phase and Family Culture

In an email to the group you said, “Yesterday, my husband basically told me that he thinks the kids should be in school.”

You also said, “But I need ideas about how to help myself, my husband, and my kids be inspired once again. The ages of my kids are 9 boy, 7 girl, and 3 boy.”

So I am responding. I do not wish to offend, yet sometimes when I respond and share, it can put people on the defensive.

You also said, “We do opening exercises every morning, but then it’s on to getting math and writing done so we can have free time.

children in love of learning phase

Kids with a solid core phase transition to love of learning

After reading the rest of the post it looks like the core of the issue is the need to revisit the core phase. Most boys (about 60%+) tend to slide into core phase after girls by a year or two. Kids with a solid core phase transition into love of learning.

If these are the issues, then school is not likely to rectify them, because these other issues will still undermine their progress at school:

* The father’s example and computer distractions- “My husband also acknowledges that he has been part of the problem….He’s on the computer a lot…programming for fun…at least he’s not a gamer. But the kids see that the computer is the place to be.”

* An over Busy mom, leaving little time for education and lack of structure. – “I have been more than busy this fall, and am ashamed to say that the education of the children has been sorely lacking.” “I am taking steps to simplify my life so that I can be a better educator and mom.” “And I haven’t been as diligent as I need to be in structuring enough time for their education or mine.”

All of these issues are core phase issues and deal with family culture. One needs to take an inventory of where they are, envision where they want to be, and look at what family ways and traditions will provide fertile soil for this to grow, fruit, and develop.

What is core phase?

I think that too often people over intellectualize core phase; meaning they think if they can describe it, they have it, or they think because they read scriptures they have their core. In DeMille’s TJEd book he writes about where we start. We start with ourselves and our core book. We drink from it everyday. We align our lives with it. We use it to measure truth. We teach it to our children. If we are not living what we proclaim, our children see the dichotomy and know we talk the talk and do not walk the walk. We must start with ourselves. We need to also work on improving our marriage. A house divided is not likely to stand.

Quite frankly, if they know, but do not do, they really do not know. Core phase is where our core values and relationships with God, family, and society are formed.  The curriculum is work, play, and worship together. Core phase is an action phase. It is where they learn consistency through daily family work and family routines.

daddy playing dress up pics

The curriculum is work, play, and worship together.

 Core Phase is about Family

Core phase is not about assignments, it is not about chores, it is not about independent child routines. It is about family. When a couple marries they set up routines, whether or not children enter the picture. As each child comes along they are integrated into those routines, they work and play along side their parents. This way the parents can teach by precept and example. They can take advantage of teaching moments; they build relationships, and pass on values.

When a child does chores they are isolated from the parent and siblings. Teaching moments are missed. Many opportunities to ask questions and build trust are lost. Key values and weightier matters are less likely to be passed on. When a child works side by side with an adult they see their worth and value as a needed part of the team.

An adult does a task to finish it and to do it well. When a child works with the adult they develop the habit and discipline of finishing quality work. This is where character and work ethic are forged. As they grow they want to demonstrate they are growing and they step out and show they can do an adult job. Meanwhile, as they play imaginatively you will see they are practicing being adults in many ways.

When a child works with the adult they develop the habit and discipline of finishing quality work.

Work, play, and family worship are the vital curriculum of the core phase.

That said what about reading, writing, and arithmetic?

When a child works with the adult they develop the habit and discipline of finishing quality work.

How does a child learn to read in core phase? A child that lap reads the scriptures with their parents will most likely learn to read and also they are more likely to value the scriptures. A child who is read to from both good classic children’s fiction and non fiction sources is more likely to develop a large vocabulary and gain a broad base of knowledge.

How does a child learn to write in core phase? If the family begins journaling, keeping lists, writing letters, the children will most likely learn to write, view writing as a tool that helps them and is important. In our stocking stuffers each year our children get a ream of white paper and a new journal.

How does a child learn arithmetic in core phase? Engage your children in cooking, doubling recipes, learning to sew, measuring, reading weather thermometers and recording the temperature, taking nature walks, being inquisitive. Start a “Tinder Binder” and write down questions that come up and things of interest that come up while reading or discussing the news. Take kids grocery shopping; I call it living math. I explain why I feel a certain product meets our needs and is the best price for us and why. They will learn to think.

Foundational Tools of Learning:

Gaining the foundational tools of learning need not be so academic–“Now we will spend 10 minutes learning math.” These tools are natural to obtain, lessons can come later. After all, they learned to talk without having grammar lessons.

Take some wild days and crazy days; go to the zoo, a museum, or nature preserve. Help them keep a binder and scrap book these outings. Write what they want written until they can write for themselves. Do not push. Do not complain. Keep your own!

My first round of homeschooling was back in the 1980s in Colorado. My kids were young. We moved to Loveland from Denver. My husband had a job with a major computer company. We put our kids back in school when we moved because the principal made promises to us. He did not keep those promises and our kids were back home within a month. Unfortunately we got a new TV and a computer. They became major distractions. Because our kids were distracted my husband put them back in school. It solved nothing and made more challenges for me. We moved to Utah and I began homeschooling again. I learned that the problems were not solved by putting kids in school.

I have since learned that the same things that make for a successful home school are the same things that make for a successful public or private school experience. It is not the place where the academics take place that makes the most difference. Conversely, the same things that undermine home school undermine learning elsewhere. The key is the home culture and the very core!

God bless.

Mahalo,
Donna

Donna Goff

Donna Goff lives in Utah with her husband Roger and their two youngest children. Donna was born in the Midwest and raised in Hawaii. She and her husband are parents of four sons and three daughters 13-33. She is grandmother of two granddaughters and seven grandsons, one grandson on the way all under eight! She has home educated her children since the early 1980s, and been doing TJEd since 1995.

Donna earned her BA in Fine Art and Design from Brigham Young University ‘80, 5 Pillar Certification ‘06, and MA Ed. George Wythe University ‘08, Cum Laude. Donna has been a keynote speaker and has presented at dozens of conferences in California, Nevada, Utah and Virginia, since 1995. She created Mentoring Our Own TJEd Yahoo Group in 2002. She founded Moor House Academy, a TJEd private cyber-school and cottage school / home education hybrid in 2002. Donna and her daughters co-founded The Princess Academies in 2009, an organization for mothers and daughters promoting a whole education for girls. Donna loves to be a wife and mother; she also loves to learn, create, provident living, gardening, hiking, stained glass murals, sharing, being a frugalite and life!

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Ways to Become the Best Grandparent Ever

by Mary Ann on February 15, 2012

grandparents grandkids pictures

Don and I and four of our 11 grandchildren

People tell me all the time, “Your grandkids are so lucky. I wish my parents were like you.” I just roll my eyes because I know the truth.

The truth about being a grandparent!

What is the truth?
• I love my grandchildren passionately.
• I get tired easily when I have the grandkids.
• I don’t always know what to do with them.
• When they are far away I don’t always contact them regularly.
• I need help so I don’t rely on technology, candy or paid events.

My son Seth's son - Kane

Being a grandparent is just about the best thing that has ever happened to me but I am 62. I am no longer 31 and these children do not live with me 24/7 and I don’t know what every baby word means, what their crying means…… That’s what moms and dads know.

kids making faces picture

My daughter Marie's children - Lizzy, Kash, Ashley, Aubrey and Parker Booth

newborn baby picture

Marie's new addition - Matilda Kate

How to be the best grandparent ever!

So what are the things I do with grandchildren,  so that people think I am the best grandmother ever? I get help!
• I have a set time to visit those children who live close. Then I get it done.
• I use a Traveling Closet so that when I am there I know what to do.
• I write Closet Letters to those who are far away. Even if I only send 3-4 a year they think it is wonderful.
• When I babysit at my home or theirs mom leaves me a list!!

My daughter Jodie's children - Maggie, Jodie, Mary, Jack and #4 due in a few weeks!

smiling guy picture

Doug and Jodie's oldest, and my oldest grandchild, Michael.

The “What to do with Grandkids” List

What is on the list you want to know? Well, I watched them in their home for about 5 hours last week. Here is the list:

  • A deep bath (this means fill the tub, watch vigilantly and splash the bathroom mercilessly. Fun!!)
  • Breakfast
  • Family Prayer
  • Get Dressed (two are potty training so this happened all day long!)
  • Brush teeth
  • Make beds, hang pj’s, fold towels (this is called Family Work). By the way the list so far took from 7am-9am. Two hours down. : )
  • Traveling Closet – it contained slates and chalk, books, and cake mix (baking the cake took until 10am. Three hours down.
  • Book on tape while rolling on floor
  • Snack
  • Watching Charlie and Lola (my favorite!) Whoa its time for me to go and the list wasn’t done! Here is what was left.
  • Go outside
  • Make a fort in Maggie’s bed
  • Play in the tent on Jack’s bed
  • Vacuum (they love taking turns pushing the vacuum)
  • Read
  • Put on the music CD and dance and sing
  • Play dress up
  • Play on the mini piano’s
  • Paint
  • See what is in their Closet

My daughter made this list for me and it was stuck to the refrigerator. It made my job so much easier. If you want your mom and dad to be the best grandparent ever then ask them to take the kids occasionally and give them a long list of what they can do. Send them the blog about Closet Letters and inspire them. Show them you’re Closet and tell them about the Traveling Closet. This would help  grandparents to better understand their role with their grandchildren.

Most of all remember that when we know what to do we do a better job. Then we don’t need to rely on TV, movies, theme parks, etc. So help them out!

PS I took lots of fabulous pictures with my youngest daughter’s camera but they are stuck there! No one can get them off. You can’t email them, you can only send them to somewhere on the internet but gosh…we just don’t know where!!

If you or your parents need some help having some great ideas for the Closet, the Traveling Closet or Closet Letters then maybe the Rockin Closet Subscription Packet is for you. Check it out!

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Teaching pre-math, reading, and music to children

by Mary Ann on February 13, 2012

The Bunkels family pic

My friends, the Bunkels

The organ begins to play and four sets of small hands grab hymn books and begin turning pages. Gabby was 6 when this ritual began. Roxy was 5, Danny was 2 and Kyle was 4. The three oldest knew how to count and could recognize letters up to the 30’s or so. So how does a child find hymn 341? This lead me on an adventure in teaching pre-math, reading and music on Sunday.

Teaching pre-math to children at church!

This was the beginning of our Sunday Pre-math. I showed the children where the hymn numbers for the day were posted. Then each Sunday one of them would ask just as we sat down in the pew, “So the first hymn is 1-2-6?” “Yes, and that is said page one hundred and twenty six.”

children playing on rock  pic

Gabby, Roxy and their cousin Kyle

Next I showed them how to find a page higher than 30 when that was as high as they knew how to count. “First find a page with a 1 as the first number. Good. Now you need to find a page with a one and a two at the beginning. See this page has a one and a three. Opps you have gone too far. Go back some pages. Look this page has a 1 and a 2 and an 8. You are almost there. Good job!” Here we go teaching pre-math – naming numbers, sequencing numbers, patterns, etc

For the next 100+ Sundays we would go through this ritual three times, opening song, rest song and closing song. That gave us a lot of time to practice learning the names of larger numbers, remembering what they look like and how to find a hymn in the hymnal.

little girl in red jacket pic

Daniella, Danny for short

Gabby is now 8, Roxy is 7, and Kyle is 6. Gabby can find any hymn in the book and she can say the number correctly. Roxy can find any hymn in the book given enough time and she can say most of the numbers correctly. Kyle is just starting to find the numbers, that is, when he is motivated to do so. : ) Danny, well she is three and just beginning to notice that everyone else seems to know something she doesn’t. She has begun to pick up a hymnal and ask for help. Gabby or Roxy help her find the right page and I have even seen them pointing out where on the page we are signing. Now Gabby and Roxy are teaching pre-math to Danny.

Teaching music to children at church

After we began learning how to find the hymns we began learning a bit about music, how the words in a song flow for example. I would point out each word as we sang it, first in one child’s book and then in another. I would show them where their eyes should go at the end of each line and where to go when a verse ended. Pointing out the words helped them read and stay with the hymn. It amazed me how studious they were about this. They really did want to sing the songs with everyone else.

little girl in pink blue top

Gabriella, Gabby for short

Teaching reading to children at church

Gabby has to work extra hard with reading. However, I see her moving her finger along with each word, staying right where she should be for the most part. I see her lips moving as she tries to read the words. She misses many because music moves right along but she gets more and more all the time. There are a lot of strategies to teach reading but just making it part of life seems to be a great way to do it.

For Roxy reading comes more easily and she misses only the really big words. However, this last Sunday I noticed that she was singing all the words but just couldn’t stay with the music. She was singing each line as you would read a sentence so she was always ahead. Time for another music lesson!

“Roxy, do you see that little black circle? It means the word is sung for a short time. Do you see that little white circle? Well, that means you sing the word for a longer time. Then I demonstrated what I meant. Love vs. loooove. Then as we sang I pointed to each word or syllable, as the case may be, and said long, short, short, short, short, long, and so forth. (I am no musician but I am willing to give it a shot!)

little girl in pink top pic

Roxanna, Roxy for short

When we started all those many weeks ago none of the children knew how to find a hymn in the book. Now they can all find them, some with no help and some with a little help. The girls can say the names of a fairly big number. When we began no one sang. Now they sing many words and I believe they are going to catch right on to musical timing.

I love to sing. I don’t do much singing right now. I do a lot of pointing and explaining but I have to say that I find it as satisfying as singing!! There are so many opportunities to teach pre-math, music and reading if we are just watching for them.

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