three little pigs pictures

The Three Little Pigs

Don’t you just love learning from a master. I do. It is enlightening and so invigorating. Some time ago I wrote a blog on the   importance of stories in childrens lives. I highlighted two experiences families had had because of classic stories they had read to their children.  I also wrote about the enormous value of reading time for a family.

Rachel DeMille picture

Rachel DeMille, author, teacher, mentor

Recently, I read an article by a true master of the leadership education model, Rachel DeMille. I want to share some snippets with you about her ideas on reading to children but my hope is that you will read her entire, very inspiring article. (scroll down to Are you *just* reading to the? GIGO)

One of the reasons that we study from the masters in any subject is because they don’t think like we do. They see the subject slightly differently. We study with them to move our thinking up a notch. This article by Rachel has done that for me. She said, “It occurred to me one day last week, when I was teaching a little lesson for a group of friends and their kids (we take weekly turns for an hour of class before the kids play together), that I do something a little more than just reading. It’s one of those things that comes so naturally that sometimes you forget to even comment on it or suggest it to others.”

So what is that little something that is different in how she thinks about reading to children? What does she do that is different?

Well, first she doesn’t just read with the intention to share a story or to get through a chapter so she can tuck her children into bed and then get on with life. She reads with the intention to interact with others. “I started to ask questions about the story. After reading the three pigs to a group of children and mom’s Rachel had this to say, It took longer to discuss the story and listen to the responses from the kids and their moms than it did to tell the thing, and it could have gone on for three times as long. There is so much to talk about when you have a good quality story!”

Do you know why this impresses me so much? I read the questions that she asked the children. Good grief. They were so simple but had so much depth. She had thought, really thought about what she was reading. That is what impressed me the most. Rachel is a thinker. She has decided that in any situation she will do the hardest work, thinking. Thinking pays huge dividends and it is something we can all learn to do and it is something we can and should teach our children to do. It is leadership education in a nutshell, to raise thinking adults who can add to the world and can uphold freedom, because they do know how to think.

I was also impressed because she had taken the time to search out the classic three little pigs, not the watered down versions that some of us grew up with and that we have read to our children. The wonderful questions that she was able to ask won’t be found in those other versions. That is why we read the classics.

Now aren’t you excited to read this article from a true master. Don’t you want to know what deep questions she found to ask from the simple story of The Three Little Pigs. Aren’t you just dying to know the qualities of a true classic, even those for young readers. And finally, aren’t you desirous to know what the end result is of taking the time to pick quality materials to read to your children and in learning to ask questions with the intent to be present and engage another human being, your child? Read this wonderful article and find out! Please comment on the value you received from Rachel’s beautiful article.

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Dream,believe and work to achieve your goals

by Mary Ann on March 3, 2011

happy lady pictures

Celebrate the fruits of your past successes!

I am a worker. I have never seen myself as a dreamer, just a worker. However, I read an article this morning by one of my favorite writers, Kerry Paterson.You must read the article! It made me realize that I am a dreamer, that’s why I work. I have experienced the power of  dreams, belief, thought and work.

I dream about all kinds of things, being a more supportive mom, being a nurturing grandmother, writing a book, having a new home, helping people see children as magnificent human beings, getting a doctorate degree in Constitutional law! Hmmmm, that last one might just be the “hole in my backyard”. You will have to read the article to understand that one.

dreams picture

We must believe in our dream

The point here is that we can never get more than we have if we don’t dream, believe that we can achieve the dream/goal and then work. This holds true economically. It also holds true in changing our way of being. Anything that we want, from more money, to becoming a more gracious person takes a dream, belief and work.

Many of you come to this blog because you have a dream of a more peaceful family, greater appreciation for your role as parents, children who love to learn. That is good. There is great information here.

However, you must not forget to add the two ingredients that will make your dream become a reality: belief that you can achieve the dream and then working towards it.

Belief is a tough one sometimes because of how we talk to ourselves. “I’ll never quit yelling.” “I am such a poor mother.” “I can’t ever be the dad my father was.” I am familiar with all these mini self-conversations because I have had hundreds of them with myself.

STOP it. Change your conversation to one of belief. Focus on what you want and verbalize that. “I may have yelled but I am getting better at recognizing why and when. I am making progress and I will change this.” “I really made Charity smile today. I am a great mom.” (I don’t care what failures you may have had during the day, celebrate the successes) “My dad was great. With his example I am doing better and better.” Change your self talk and really change your life.

Work is a tough one too. Mostly, because the work we have to do to be better parents and people is ‘thinking work’. Most of us shy

kids shoveling pictures

Work makes dreams come true

away from thinking because it is hard! But this is the work that moves us towards our dreams and brings some of our greatest success. When we have thought out why we do what we do and have determined what we want to do instead, we have to do the work to make it happen. We have to continually practice our new way of being, despite many failed attempts. I am living proof that this does work! : )

My gift to you today is this wonderful and enjoyable article by Kerry Paterson. I want to help you see the  power of dreams, belief and work. Despite the occasional loss I want you to dare to create one more dream. I want you to be able to open your eyes wide enough to see the fruits of your past efforts—not just the hole in your backyard. (Read the article to understand this one : )

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Grandma reading to child pictures

Being present satisfies tired adults and children.

Yesterday I was telling you all about my trip to my daughter’s wedding. I was tattling on myself and my oldest daughter, the fact that two mom’s couldn’t keep up with seven small children. I shared one of the reasons why I wanted you to know how we fared and today I want to tell you the other reason, the one thing that changed everything.

Second, I was reminded how much effort it takes to be present. This one thing, which can change a family dramatically, is not

girl outside pictures

When you feel like being present the least, it can pay off the most!

always easy. I am thinking of the night that I tiredly put all the children to bed. This was after about 30 minutes of trying to read Understood Betsy to the four oldest girls. The two three year olds were everywhere, buzzing their trucks, jumping on the bed, jumping off the bed. We had to stop repeatedly to remind them of the rules for quiet time reading, something that was new to them.

As a matter of fact, I had to keep reminding the four older girls too. Finally I just shut the book and said, “lights out”. I couldn’t wait to hear quiet! After another twenty minutes of child wrangling I managed to have everyone in bed. It was quiet, at least right then. I stood in the hall with a slightly dissatisfied feeling. Hmmmm. I had gone through the grandma motions of reading and tucking but I was focused on getting them all quiet. After all it had been a loooong day!

small girl reading photos

Being present takes practice, practice and more practice.

As I stood there I remembered that being present even for short amounts of time heals hearts, soothes feeling, opens gates to communication, deepens love and satisfies tired adults and children. So I tiptoed back into every room and kissed and hugged and spoke quietly to each child. It only took a few minutes but it made all the difference in an otherwise very busy day.

Being present is a gift you give to your children and yourself. It takes practice, practice, practice. But this one thing will secure you dividends in your family that you cannot imagine, even if you are only present for moment at a time.

I am going to share an interesting video and some thoughts on presence. I also want to share a small portion from the book Understood Betsy on what happens when we are present. Stay tuned, you won’t want to miss it. In the meantime, please share your experiences of being present with your children and how it makes you and them feel. Use the comment section. I want to hear from you!

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four cousins pictures

Marie and four of the seven cousins-Parker, Lizzy, Ashley, and Aubrey

Seven children, ages 1 to 11, all together in one house with two mothers; one fairly young, well, under 40 and one fairly old, hmmm, over 60; isn’t this a recipe for peace and tranquility? Age and experience! That is what these mothers thought. Two mothers ought to be able to handle seven small children with ease. Shouldn’t they?

This last weekend was Marie’s wedding. It was a beautiful wedding. Then Bride and Groom were off and we two mothers rolled up our sleeves for a week of fun and games with the seven cousins.

I cooked….and cooked….and cooked…..does it ever stop? Only when it is

three kids photo

Three of the seven cousins-Maggie, Mary and Jack

bedtime, that is, if no one wakes up in the night and needs a bottle, a drink of water or a small snack!

I washed and folded….washed and folded….washed and folded mountains of clothes, bedding….does it ever stop? Only if the children aren’t sick, don’t spill

milk or paint, throw up or are not just teaching themselves to eat. In this case we started with one very ill child and by the end of a week’s time were up to four.

little boy cooking picture

A meal never satisfies until the next meal

Jodie picked up….and picked up….and picked up….does it ever end. Only if it is warm outside and everyone wants to go out. In this case it was winter, cold, and cloudy. Everyone was indoors dressing up, gluing, cutting, taping, and playing games with a million pieces, not to mention the puzzles.

Jodie played referee…and played referee…and played referee….does it ever stop. No, not when there are three girls who all need the hair brush at the same time or want to wear the same princess dress; or if there are two three year old boys just learning to share…or not.

Of course in all this cooking, washing and folding, picking up and refereeing we had to live our regular life of doing important stuff, right? We cleaned the house top to bottom, over and over again. We kept hoping it would stay clean for the bride’s homecoming. Fat chance!!!

girl with doll pictures

We are raising people who will make a difference in the live of others

We painted the brides living room and dining room; our wedding present for their open houselater this week. Try doing that with one, one year old, two three year olds and one 4 year old with cerebral palsy. We were either extraordinarily courageous or abysmally foolish. We felt we were both by the time we were done.

On that last day, after three of the girls had gone to school, one three year old had gone to relatives and we were left with just three children, we gazed tiredly upon the strewn living room floor, the chaotic playroom and envisioned the six hour drive ahead. Sigh. Jodie looked at me and said, “Gee, mom, there are two of us and we couldn’t keep up.” I couldn’t help laughing tiredly because it was so true.

I am telling you all this because I want to make two points. I will share one today and one tomorrow.

little boy pictures

See your children for who they are, wonderful people you have the privilege of living with and loving.

First, if two moms struggled, what happens to one mom who does this kind of thing 24/7, 365 days a year? Well, she gets tired and discouraged. It comes with the territory,motherhood is the hardest job in the world. The best we can hope for are glimmers of occasional peace, a few quiet moments, sloppy kisses and an occasional “your the best mom” spoken in a childish voice.

children with sugar crystal pictures

Nothing is perfect except the fact that we have the best job in the world.

The house will be orderly and clean sometimes but not most of the time. Children will be gracious and kind to one another but sometimes they will forget. A meal never satisfies until the next meal. Laundry is perpetual and so is folding. Nothing is perfect except the fact that we have the best job in the world. Yes, motherhood is the hardest, but the best job in the world. We are raising people who will make a difference in the life of others, just as soon as they grow up a bit more.

So take heart. What feels like failure is really just the process of raising a lot of people in one house until they are grown enough to start their own house and repeat the process. Give yourself a break. Be kind. See your children for who they are, wonderful people you have the privilege of living with and loving. And then remember, two mom’s with lot’s of experience couldn’t make it all perfect!

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