Seeing the funny side of life and things

by Mary Ann on May 29, 2012

wet shoe picture

Wet shoe! NOT funny or is it?

When I am in front of a crowd I am a funny woman. Yes, it’s true, a funny woman. I make people laugh. I am no comedian but I can say things in a way that is humorous.

But if you ask my children if I am a funny woman they would say “no”. They would say that mom doesn’t get jokes and she doesn’t generally see the funny side of things.

Case in point – Being a humorous person

One day many years ago I was preparing to attend an event with my then 11 year old daughter. It wasn’t Sunday but the dress was Sunday best. We were running a bit late and being late was never an option for me. So the stress was on to get there on time!

As we walked out to the car I stepped off the curb into a pool of water up to my ankle. I was instantly mad!!! My foot was wet, my shoe was full of water and there wasn’t time to change. My thoughts were full of anger, blame, frustration and I turned those thoughts into angry, blaming and frustrated words.

As I drove down the road I was complaining bitterly about the cussed water, the inconsideration of some people who let their sprinklers run all over the place, the foolishness of having the event at this time and not later, and on and on……. You can hear it can’t you!

When we were about 6 blocks from home I visualized myself stepping off the curb and into that gutter. I saw my shoe fill up with water and saw the shocked look on my face.  It was such a funny picture and my shoe would dry. In fact no one would probably even notice it was wet. After all people do have to water and we weren’t going to be late. I began to laugh and laugh and laugh.

My poor daughter who had sat silently through the so recent tirade just stared. Then she began to laugh. When I finally got control of myself I said, “That was so funny!”

In her sweet way she replied, “Mom, I wish you had known it was funny when it happened.” That wise statement from my youngest daughter was like a slap in the face and frankly sent me on an adventure of change. Now, I am still no comedian. I don’t see the funny side of a head cold or a house burning down. But I can tell you this, I laugh far more than I cry or complain or yell.

You get to decide to laugh or cry. You have a choice.

I have discovered that this is a funny life. The most outrageous things happen and if you control the thoughts in your head and the stories you tell yourself you will see the funny side. Controlling your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself are a big key to having a happy – and funny life! How YOU decide to see a thing makes all the difference.

Children are especially funny. If you stop and tell yourself a new story about what they just did or didn’t do for that matter, instead of letting anger be your immediate response to their lack of understanding or their messy attempt to learn you will be laughing for at least 18 years.

Case in point- Seeing the funny side of life

The other night Doug was giving Mary and Jack a bath. He gathered up the PJ’s and took them to put away. When he came back into the bathroom literally everything in the room which wasn’t nailed down was in the tub: scale, towels, dirty diapers, toothbrushes, soap, shampoo bottles, everything.

As Doug began fishing all the stuff out of the tub while trying to control his temper this is what he heard, “Hey dad your ruining my island.” How’s that for learning. How’s that for funny. I laughed and laughed. Even Doug had to laugh.

 little girl with toys in the tub picture

Kids don't think like adults and are proud of efforts we think as naughty. Learn to laugh while they learn!

Learning to laugh will relieve more stress than taking a long vacation. Learning to control your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself will lead to a happy life and enjoying every bit of it more. I promise!!

I’d sure like to hear some of your outrageous experiences learning to see the funny side of life. Why not share.

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Control your thinking, change your life

by Mary Ann on May 25, 2012

lady dancing in water picture

Jenny Johnson

“Is this Mrs. Johnson?”

“Yes”.

“Do you have a daughter, Jenny, who lives in Eurka, CA?”

Those few words sent me on a four month odyssey with my daughter who was facing a five year journey. Jenny had been hit head on by a drunk driver going the wrong way on the freeway.

This last weekend Jenny’s five year journey ended when she graduated with her Master’s degree in Speech Therapy and set out for a new life, in a new city, at a new job, helping other people to put their lives back together.

Jenny in graduation gown cap

Wohooo, a Master's degree

It was wonderful to sit in the auditorium and watch her walk across the stage. It was amazing to see all the people who have come to love our daughter and who wanted us to know what an amazing job we had done. It caused me to do some serious introspection.

We did do a good job of raising our children. Not a perfect or pain free job but a good job. We know that from the fruit, seven loyal, kind, adults with integrity.

But when I think of Jenny I know that her recovery from an accident that left her unable to walk, think of the word for shoe, orange, etc., track conversations and with a brain injury, is due to her preparation for life. Let me share with you a secret for living well no matter the circumstances.

Take control of your thoughts!!

While visiting this last weekend I was amazed at the quotes that are in every room in her home. They are the fodder for her life; they are the core of who she decided she wanted to be long before her accident. She began choosing her thoughts in her late teens.

After the accident, these thoughts which she has seen and read every day for well over 15 years, were what got her through. They had become part of the fabric of her life. She had become what she had thought about for so long.

Jenny at the Pacific Ocean picture

Jenny at the Pacific Ocean

Let me share with you some of the ideas, beliefs and thoughts that Jenny has chosen to embrace.

Control Your Thoughts, Control you Life!

  • If you correct your mind the rest of your life will fall into place.
  • Life is not about finding yourself; life is about creating yourself.
  • “When I started counting my blessings my whole world turned around.” Willie Nelson
  • When we strive to become better than we are, then everything around us becomes better too.
  • Live generously, love passionately, and be all that you want to see in the world. Shine your awesome love and light on all around you with no strings attached. Do it just because it is who you are. Love is your nature. Sow it in your mind. Plant it in the world and enjoy the thrill of seeing love multiply and spread. All for love and love for all.
  • I’d always heard that your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all – it stretches on forever like an ocean of time. I guess I could be pretty pissed-off about what happened to me; but it’s hard to stay mad in a world where there’s so much beauty. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much; my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. Then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold onto it, and the beauty flows through me like rain, and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my little life.You have no idea what I’m talking about I’m sure, but don’t worry, you will – someday. (From the movie American Beauty)
  • “ I’ve learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.” Martha Washington
  • Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. Maori Proverb

I have learned that what Martha Washington said is true. We have choice in this life. We can choose how we are going to react in any circumstance. I recall reading Victor Frankel as a teen and I have never forgotten him saying that the one thing that can never be taken from a person is their ability to choose how to respond.

Jenny with her dog picture

Jenny and Luna, her 3 legged coyote

Jenny has chosen to look at life through a lens of light. She has chosen to embrace happiness no matter how hard the day. She controls her thoughts!

Jenny won’t engage in negative conversations. She won’t verbalize the bad but chooses instead to talk about the good. Even after the accident she would not say an unkind work about the other driver. She said that she wished him well, that she hoped for joy in his life and that she wasn’t going to waste one minute on anger.

Change your thoughts, change your life.  Controlling your thoughts can change your life completely. We all have the ability to choose our response in every situation. Accepting personal responsibility for our lives and not blaming others, money, time, or circumstance makes all the difference in the quality of our lives.

Control Your Thoughts

Watch your thoughts for they become words.
Choose your words because they become actions
Understand your actions for they become your habits
Study your habits for they will become your character
Develop your character for it becomes your destiny

Jenny has proven this to be true!

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after schooling fun picture

Afterschooling for homeschool : )

Some time ago I read an article about Afterschooling.  The article was written by a mom-teacher and was basically for parents whose children were in the public school system. The premise was that if your school district was high performing then you could Afterschool in the summer to keep kids sharp. If your school district was poorly performing then you would use it to make sure your children were getting an education and maintaining grade-level standards. If your child was gifted then Afterschooling would be helpful because their needs would be met which often doesn’t happen in the regular classroom.

What interested me was what constituted Afterschooling and I think it has great application for home schooling parents. This teacher-mom had some great ideas for extending learning all through the day.

Let’s face it, many of you worry about your efforts and just want to feel confident that you are doing a good job but aren’t sure what to do when you aren’t having formal “school time”. Seasoned home schoolers know that just living life as a family every day is the curriculum but for those who are newer and still trying to sort it out here are some ideas to get you going. These wonderful ideas are from the article that I read. I think you’ll find them helpful.

girl learning all day picture

Learning all day long is fun

Afterschooling Activities Ideas for Homeschoolers

kids listening to books in car picture

Listening to books in the car

Carschooling Ideas– Listen to books on tape in the car as you run errands or take trips. You will be amazed at how many books you can “read” in a year by taking advantage of car time. Don’t worry too much about “age-appropriate” if you have multiple ages. Three-year-olds like listening to Ramona the Brave as well as eight-year-olds and twelve-year-olds don’t really mind listening to The Indian in the Cupboard. You will also find that your whole family will listen to classics that are above “grade level” whether they understand or not. It just becomes a “way of being” for your family and you will be amazed at what younger children will pick up from books their older siblings are listening to and what all your children will pick up from books you are listening to.

Don’t just stick with fiction. Try some history, math, spelling, music and so forth.
There are so many options available at your public library.

Carschooling CD Suggestions –

• The Story of the World Volume 1 by Susan Wise Bauer – There are some critics of this series but if listened to as a work of historical fiction it works well.
• The Story of the World Volume 2 by Susan Wise Bauer
• The Story of the World Volume 3 by Susan Wise Bauer
• Beethoven Lives Upstairs by Barbara Nichol – The CD features many of Ludwig van Beethoven’s most popular compositions interspersed with the fictional story of a little boy who lives downstairs from the composer.
• Mr. Bach Comes to Call by Martin Lavut Karen/Lavut – This CD expresses very clearly the image of Johann Sebastian Bach coming from a large musical family, being a hard worker and a prolific composer. It also highlights how so many things were different in the olden days; clothing, parenting, women’s rights, large families, etc. Did you know that Bach had twenty children, but only ten lived?
• Greek Myths as Told by Jim Weiss – It tells about some of the labors of Hercules but in a kid-friendly way. Instead of Hercules doing penance for killing his six sons, he “did something bad to another man”.
• Sherlock Holmes for Children as told by Jim Weiss – Greathall Productions Nothing is too scary, too long, or inappropriate for children.
• Abraham Lincoln and the Heart of America by Jim Weiss
• Speak Spanish with Dora & Diego! Vamanos! Let’s Go! by Pimsleur
• You can also find CDs in math, history, grammar, etc. Lots of great stuff out there.

Read Alouds – Imagine that! You have all heard this many times. Read as a family. Some families read for 30 minutes after dinner, while still sitting at the table. Then they all do the dishes. Other families read for 30 minutes or more first thing in the morning and others read at bedtime. They read scriptures and classics. It doesn’t matter when you read just pick a time and then be consistent! Use classics and read as a family. Make it a tradition and not a haphazard occurrence.

kids making books picture

The Jones Closet

The Closet – Many families use the Closet as part of their Family Learning Time (school). However, this is an amazing tool that can be used on its own, later in the day. (But not for both!) You could use it as a family learning/gathering tool in the evening. Imagine doing science, history or math, art, genealogy as a family for fun in the evening!!

Morning Message – Write a daily Morning Message on a little whiteboard while your kids eat breakfast. It is a great way to teach phonics, reading, writing, and punctuation.

Homemade books– This can be a Closet activity or not. You can use it once or twice a week at a non

homemade books picture

homemade books

-school time just for the fun of it. Go to the store and buy a whole bunch of paper and special art supplies. Put them in a big box or bag, or your Closet. Staple together a whole bunch of homemade blank books. Let your kids know they can now make their own books!!

Give your child all the help they need. The child is the author and illustrator, but you are the secretary.

Help them construct sentences that they will be able to read 95% themselves. Keep these special books in a special place to be read to grandparents, younger siblings, and at any quiet time.

Computer Time – Some parents root for the computer and other don’t want their kids anywhere near it. You decide what works for you but there are many programs FREE on the internet that just plain make learning FUN!! You can buy tons of other software programs that kids like. Look for quality, where the child does the learning and the computer designer isn’t having all the fun. Set strict parameters that you are comfortable with and then be consistent.

Two Learning Options on the Internet to get you started:

• Reader Rabbit Software Series
• There’s also Houghton Mifflin’s free online Eduplace math games. http://www.eduplace.com/

TV Time – When used wisely the TV can be a great educational tool. Just like the computer you decide what is right for your family and you set the parameters and then be consistent. You can purchase DVD’s or find free content in your TV listing. When used sparingly and well this can be a good friend. Here is one suggestion to start with:

“Leap Frog Talking Words Factory #2″

dear time picture

DEAR Time

DEAR Time (Drop Everything And Read)

I loved this idea I found on a mom-teacher blog.

Studies have shown that the more words on a page your child is exposed to and tries to read himself, the better his reading level abilities will be. So give your children an opportunity to look at books and read what they can themselves. If your home gets out of sorts, if someone is bored or can’t figure out what to do send them to DEAR Time.

Set up a cozy reading corner somewhere in your house, and stock it with a box or basket of books you know are at an easy reading level for your child. You could even let your child munch on crackers or other snacks, while they read. Set the timer at 10 minutes and slowly build up to 30 minutes.

There are many ways to help your children use time wisely and still be kids, without nagging or cajoling. Be creative in your Afterschooling efforts.

What are some fun and simple things that you do in your home to help your kids learn all day long, even when they are not in a structured school setting or having structured family learning time?

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Control your time and life by unplugging

by Mary Ann on May 14, 2012

 

nuclear air raid drills

Nuclear Air Raid Drills in the 50's

I like Kerry Patterson of Vital Smarts. He is a great writer and beside he is from my own era and so I can relate to everything he writes. In a world that seems to be passing me by so much of the time that is such a refreshing feeling.

In September Kerry wrote an article about unplugging from the workplace but I saw some amazing parallels to doing the same at home.

Kerry talked about the nuclear tests that America engaged in 1951, and all the craziness that went along with that. Students were sent flying to the floor to cover the backs of their necks in case of a nuclear attack from the Soviet Union. We had to practice this often. We saw American soldiers in newsreels, dressed in green fatigues, toting rifles, and holding their helmets tight to their heads, walking resolutely into a cloud of nuclear dust as the latest blast rolled across the desert.

It was all craziness because in 1951 we all knew about radiation, the danger, and yet the tests went on.

Kerry then asked the question “What similarly insane things are we doing today?” What modern inventions have we wholly embraced, which appear to have made our lives better, but are actually slowly killing us? In short, what “nuclear walk” are we taking today?

Kerry and I agree on one crazy thing that is happening today, our inability to unplug!

Can this really be a date?

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. I live on the second floor of a two story apartment building. Below us is a wonderful family with two daughters. In front of their apartment is a large hedge that hides their patio from view. As I was coming up the walk one day I saw Lisa and Patrick’s heads above the hedge. I saw no children. I called out to them, “Hey are you guys having a date?” They both looked up and answered “yes”. As I rounded the hedge to the stairway I saw that they were both playing a game on their individual cell phones but…they were on a date.

I mentor moms often who complain that they have a hard time having structured learning time or family reading or even time to be present and listen to a child. When we actually track how they spend their time they are amazed at how much of it they spend on the computer answering email, checking Facebook and dealing with other social networking sites, as well as online games that they play.

They are also amazed at just how often they are interrupted during the day by calls on their cell phones. This loss of actual time leads to a sense of dissatisfaction in their performance as moms. They just can’t seem to keep up.

mom busy with phone computer picture

How much time do you spend on the computer?

This goes for dads as well who come home from work but bring it home with them on laptops and cell phones. Then they wonder why they just can’t seem to connect with their children or avoid becoming angry and frustrated with them.

I ask “What would happen if you unplugged once in a while. What if you turned the cell phone off during family learning time? What if you didn’t check email or Facebook until late afternoon or even the next day? Would disconnecting for even an hour make your life better?” They answer yes but I can see the addiction in their eyes. They don’t want to be out of the loop, miss anything. And frankly, for some, being thus engaged feels better than doing all the jobs that moms face every day.

But what would happen if we did unplug for even an hour a day? Would it make a difference in our feelings of satisfaction, in our health, in our ability to focus.

The answer is a resounding YES.

Take a look at some of the facts that Kerry shared.

Every time you stop your current task, deal with an interruption, and then return, you place the original task from short- to long-term memory, put the new job into short-term memory, and then reverse the entire process to get back on task.

Completing this conceptual lifting dozens of times a day creates stress, which just might lead to distress and all of its attendant health problems.

Frequent interruptions can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction. Instead of working continuously for periods of an hour or more on a task that’s challenging and solvable, we purposely interrupt our flow, add stress, and make our job far less enjoyable. Take family reading or school time for example!

When we use our time to stay digitally connected at the expenses of work we feel we must complete each day we extend our day beyond healthy limits. Instead of going to bed at 10 we go at 11 or 12 because we have to finish those chores that we didn’t’ get done. This leads to lack of energy, grouchiness and dissatisfaction with our children and life.

interrupted mom picture

Too many disruptions creates a sense of dissatisfaction.

This happens a lot. I know one mom who plays three online games, and is a prolific Facebook reader and writer. Often her Facebook messages say things like “I just can’t keep up” or “I am too busy and my kid are so messy!”

With the release of each new innovation, there’s much to think about. As we invent and embrace new devices, we may not know the toll they’re taking on our mental, emotional, and physical health until it’s too late.

What can we do?

Take control of how you spend your time. Take control of your outside interruptions. Make it part of your family dialogue. When will you, your spouse or the kids be on the computer? How much TV will any of you watch? What family times call for silencing of cell phones? How much Wii or other electronic games will you play?

three kids with macs picture

As Kerry suggests, “Talk openly about the two-edged sword of innovation”. Decide how and when you kids busy playing ps3 picturewant to be connected and where and when you want to be interrupted. Make it a choice, not the natural extension of embracing what appears to be a helpful new tool.

And remember, it’s not an all-or-nothing proposition. You’re not required to take a vow of digital celibacy. You don’t have to chuck your devices; you just have to control them so they don’t control you.

I know a mom who realized that checking her computer first thing in the morning was the one thing that was messing up her day. She made a decision to turn the computer OFF each evening and then to NOT turn it on again until after 12:00pm. It has made a world of difference. When you make decisions about technology you make more time for your family.

What have you done to take control of the digital age and your time? Please share, we all need the help. : )

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