Set Yourself Free

by Mary Ann on May 17, 2010

I have a mentor that is guiding me through the process of learning to meditate. I have felt for some years that I really needed to learn this skill because my mind is never quiet. A quiet mind is more apt to receive inspiration, sparks of creative genius and moments of quiet revelation. I really wanted more of that in my life. So I found a mentor who led me to a book, Eight Minute Mediation by Victor Davich.

It isn’t the book or the meditation that I want to talk about here, although I highly recommend both to you. What I want to talk about is a quote that I read in the book. A famous meditation master said, “Everything’s perfect! And there’s always room for improvement.”  Don’t you just love that!!! When I read it I just wanted to embrace that concept. Can you imagine the souls that this one idea could bring to rest or the flagging spirits it could raise?

Really, what is that man saying to you and to me?  If I interpret correctly I believe it is this…We can be very grateful for what we have now and what we have accomplished and realize at the same time that there is so much more we can and will do, given time and knowledge.

Do you know why I like this idea so much? Well, as you know I counsel, teach and coach families how to feel and be more successful. One of the things that is most paralyzing for some parents is the thought that they aren’t enough, what they have done isn’t enough and that they will never be enough; when a person believes that, they are really, really stuck. No matter what they learn and implement it won’t be enough.

I worked with a really super mom. She was basically in charge of their home school. The dad was supportive but not really involved. At the point that I met her she was beyond discouraged and in fact, was ready to send her kids back to public school. That would have been sad because it wasn’t what she wanted to do. She would have done it because she felt she was failing and that her children were suffering.

I spent some time with both her, her husband and their kids. I saw the family in action. I sat in on a whole day. It was really pleasant, peaceful, interesting and cozy! They needed some help learning to set up and use the Closet. They needed some suggestions about classics, learning materials, books to read, etc. But I have to say that things weren’t as bleak as this mom led me to believe. Her children were bright and very sociable. They could read and two of them LOVED math. Gosh there are a lot of mom’s out there right now asking in their minds how she managed that!

But despite the success that they were having they were doomed to failure because it was never enough, so this mom always felt like a failure. After working with the family for a few months things were better. She began to feel a bit more confident in what they were doing. She felt a bit more confident in the process she had entered into. Her children began to feel more confident because their mom was more confident.

The fact is that no matter where we are in our progression as families it is enough, while we learn to understand and do more. We need to revel in our successes no matter how small. When we can do that we will have given ourselves the key out of our pit of despair.

There is a reason that this is really important, a reason beyond feeling successful and not feeling like we are somehow failing. The reason is that when we can and will look at every good thing in ourselves, our children and the process we are in, then we can have joy. We can truly enjoy one another, our family association and our need to learn together. Acceptance of and recognizing our successes is like turning on a light in a dim room, it enables us to see more and move about freely so that we can do more. It sets us free.

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