home-school-coach.com

Benefits of eating together as a family

by Mary Ann on January 14, 2011

Mary feeding herself

In my Mastery Class, one of the things that I ask parents to do is practice “being present” with their children. Of the Five Rules of Engagement, (effective home school teaching strategies) being present seems to be the most difficult and I get more emails about this subject than any other. It is also the rule, that when put into practice, brings me the most positive emails. Being present really does make a huge difference in a family.

The trouble is that we live in a world where being present isn’t practiced much and isn’t valued in many instances. We look with admiration to those who can multitask and accomplish a long list of things each day.

Because experience has shown me that being present is imperative for effective use of the Closet, as well as in a healthy and thriving family, I ask my students to begin practicing being present.

Eating together strengthens families

Here is a super way to practice this most important skill and in the practicing, strengthen your family: Eat together. There are other benefits to eating together. It is interesting that studies show that time spent around the dinner table can improve children’s and teen’s health. Children seem to eat a wider variety of food. They do better educationally. It improves self esteem. Studies also show that families eating together, even a couple of times a week, can reduce the risk of children and teens developing eating disorders, using drugs, smoking and drinking.

It may sound difficult to gather your family around the dinner table because we are all so busy and schedules are tight, but family meals are a great way to stay connected to each other and have fun together. So find the time and make it count by staying present. Understand the importance of family time and family meals.

TV negates many of the benefits of a family meal

Here are some guidelines to help you be present during your family meals.

* Eat at the table. Talking to one another is easier when you’re facing each other instead of sitting side by side at a counter or at TV trays in the living room.

* Turn off the TV! Having the TV on negates many of the benefits of a family meal and definitely prevents you and your family from being present.

* No phone calls. Turn off cell phones while at the table. Mute your land line. Even if you don’ answer the phone, the ringing alone can be a major distraction.

* Have a conversation and include everyone. Keep it positive. Avoid nagging, complaining, or controlling the discussion.

* To aid in conversation and to assist in making meal time a learning time and fun keep a few books handy. Talk about a book the family is reading together. Read a few paragraphs and discuss them. Look up a scripture and talk about it or memorize a scripture or quote you like. I am not even opposed to a sing along at times. Tell a joke and laugh. Talk about something that happened that day in the community or a thought you had or a person you talked with.

Being present isn’t always easy. It may not always seem like your children and teens even care whether you eat together. However in a survey of more than 900 adolescents, 63 % said that eating together as a family is important and 64% agreed that sharing meals brings families closer.

So begin practicing being present and eating together as a family. I know that it will make a difference in the quality of your family relationships and in your ability to be present at other times of the day.

Possibly Related Posts:

{ 1 comment }

Learn to teach the way they learn

by Mary Ann on January 12, 2011

How to Use the Closet in Your Family

Maggie, Jack and Mary

If They Don’t Learn the Way You Teach, Teach the Way They Learn. The same concept applies to ways of using the Closet for creating a magical learning space for kids. If a particular way of using the closet doesn’t work for you then use it the way that it will work best for you.

I am often asked how you are supposed to use the Closet. My answer is “the way that works best for your family”. There are only five things that are absolute about the success of the Closet and those five things are the Rules of Engagement(effective home school teaching strategies) – structure and consistency, be present, keep it special, keep it simple and regular planning. Everything else is based on what you need and what works.

Here is a case in point. I was sitting in on a home school yesterday. Their home school day was really great. I want to play it out for you.

There is a handicapped 4 ½ year old in the family. There is also a three year old and a one year old.

It was a busy morning with dressing, feeding and getting to a therapy session. At about 10:15, when they returned home the mother said, “It’s time for kid school”. “Yeaaaaaa”, was the response. Everyone got a hat and had their welcome song. Then the mom brought out a large tub of small plastic toys from somewhere.

Every Closet is Different

I was amazed at the varied ways that they used this as a group. They began with I Spy. “Who can spy a cow?” “Who can spy the pink dinosaur?” “No, that dinosaur is blue. Can you find the pink one?” “Yea, Maggie found it.” And that is how it went for about ten minutes. Then the three year old just started choosing things. So the game changed.

“Look, Jack found a frog.” “Maggie found a horse.” “Jack found a teddy bear.” That went on for about five or six minutes.

Then the game changed again. Each person chose an animal to go with the song Old McDonald Had a Farm. As an item was chosen the verse would be sung and then one or the other child would make the appropriate sound. They played together for quite a while. It was fun watching them have so much fun.

As items were chosen during each version of the game the mother carried on a “familiar conversation. “Jack, can you find the dinosaur.” “ Look mom, a sharp tooth.” “Yes Jack that’s a tyrannosaurus.” “Look, Maggie found the pink dinosaur. It’s a long neck, it’s called a brontosaurus.” “Can you find another dinosaur.” “I found a frog.” “Your right Jack, frogs lived when there were dinosaurs but a frog isn’t a dinosaur.” And the conversation just went on and on.

The Palmer's original Closet

Now I have been at this family’s school time before. They had a wonderful Closet in a plastic tub. It was low enough that each child could get things in and out by themselves. Today they weren’t using it. Mom would just choose something and they would all play together until one of the children was tired and wanted to do something else. Then the mom would bring in something else.

So I asked her if she wasn’t using the Closet anymore. “Oh yes, we are. I now have a Closet in the hall and I pull things out of there.” I asked her why she made the change from a tub that her kids could access by themselves to a Closet that she only brought one thing at a time out of.

“Well, my children are very little and Maggie is handicapped. It doesn’t work for each one to be doing something different because they all need my immediate attention. I have to actually play with them the whole time we are in school. We have discovered that it works best when we all play together doing the same thing. Maggie has to have one on one help all the time and Jack and Mary want to play with me all the time. This really works well for us(with, children working together in homeschool). I suspect we will do this for a while.”

Their kid school is very successful. Their closet is very successful and has helped create a magical learning environment in their home. This mom has done the wise thing. She has incorporated the five rules and she has also thought through what works for her family.

Possibly Related Posts:

{ 1 comment }

Expectations can halt our progress

by Mary Ann on January 11, 2011

Closets vary from family to family

One of my all time favorite books is Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I have read it about 5 times and have seen multiple movie renditions. I really enjoy that book. I read it for the first time in high school and while most of my peers were bored stiff I was mesmerized with the writing, the language and the humanness and tragedy of the main players. It was one of the first classics to come into my life.

There are many themes to the book and lest anyone think that I just haven’t gotten it yet I want to tell you that I am going to pick just one, a very plain and surface one, to talk about today; expectations can sometimes halt our progress.

When we have an expectation of how a thing ought to be, feel, or work out, if it isn’t exactly that, then we often just stop. We cannot see how to move forward, how to have success despite the roadblocks that we perceive are in our way.

That is true when it comes to putting the tool, the Closet, together. The perception that many have is that our Closet will be an actual Closet, with a lock, in the room our family studies in. People go to great and sometimes silly lengths to play out that specific expectation. It would be wonderful if we all had a Closet in our study room that had a lock and enough room for all that we hope to put into it. It would be wonderful. The reality is that for most families this is not how it will be.

I am going to share a thread of a conversation held on the Yahoo group for my Closet Mastery Pilot Program. It is humorous, poignant and instructive as to how expectations can halt us in our efforts to move ahead with things we care about and also how the movement of one, even a small movement, can motivate and help many to make progress. You will LOVE the end result of this conversation.

Jody's family's Phantom Tollbooth Closet in progress

The Phantom Tollbooth Closet - now this is fun!

“I’m stuck… I had my closet picked out but haven’t finished because it now seems inaccessible. The kids are afraid of the room the closet is in. We do our structured learning time in our family room and off of it is our storage room that has a closet at the back. I’m considering just putting it in a dresser and shelves right in the family room, but then it’s not locked. I could put the dresser right inside the storage room. I’m frozen by this decision. Silly I know, but I can’t get passed it.” Steph

“Dark storage rooms are no laughing matter. My grandmother had one and so I know! If I were you I would use the dresser and the shelves. As I said it doesn’t have to lock. If you have very small children then get a safety lock for the shelves. As for the dresser they won’t be able to access that. Any child over 4-5 can learn to stay out. Really, once they feel the excitement they will respect the rule and keep it special. I have a number of families I have worked with, all with children under 8 and their children don’t open the Closet. Try it, it will work.” Mary Ann

Annette's Closet

“Steph, I’m so glad to know someone else gets hung up on “where” to put the closet. I started mine this summer in a dark spidery closet off of my family room….it’s really a root storage type cellar if you can imagine that….I know, I know….my poor kids. It worked well but there were no lights…it was cold…hard to get to…plus I had all of our family games piled on the top shelves. So what do you think…we just slowly stopped using it very often.

I have a dresser with drawers and some shelves right in my family room that I have decided, after reading your post, to just buckle down and convert into my closet once and for all! I’ve been sitting on the idea cause I want to make sure it’s gonna be “perfect”….but for crying out loud…people keep their closets in plastic totes….so why not a dresser?

Does it really matter what you keep it in? No! Just that you are using it and

Andee's Closet

being present with the kids! Who cares if it can be locked, right? They will learn to not touch unless its learning time…..I may keep brightly colored baskets on the shelves on my dresser but not have them be see thru so there is still an element of surprise when they finally get to play in there. Thanks for your words….just what I needed.” Leah

“You guys are so funny and you make me laugh. I can relate to the “I want it perfect” syndrome. The thing to remember is that this isn’t about a storage space, it is about creating magic. You are creating a magnificent learning environment; plastic tote, dresser, none of that matters. Keeping it simple, keeping it special, planning ahead, structure and consistency and most of all, your presence, ah, these are the things that success is made of!” Mary Ann

“…remember you can kind of lock dressers with rubber bands (loop over knob handles) or tying the handles between the drawers together. Kids will learn it’s off limits, but until the 2 year old figures it out… :)” Molly

Leah's finished Closet

“… after reading all of these posts I got motivated to overhaul my closet tonight…I just “overhauled” my closet from freezing cold, barely lit, spider filled food storage closet TO…..an old dresser type piece my neighbor had given me this summer (which I had conveniently already sanded and painted and attached to the wall a few months ago!). I literally threw in a few things from the old cold storage closet (maybe 2) and then just grabbed a bunch of other things I have been thinking about putting in but just haven’t because I didn’t even want to open the frigid doors to the old closet because of the draft it let it! Took about 45 minutes (including cleaning out the dresser) Stephanie – thanks for the inspiration and the kick in the butt I needed…I feel like I am moving forward with this program! Thanks ALL and Mary Ann (“did you even know that you’re my hero”?) – seriously!

Jen's Closet

Now I will have space to store potatoes, carrots and onions all winter long and my kids won’t have to wear gloves during learning time!!! :)” Leah

“Thanks to all of you for being so brave to share what’s keeping you from getting the closet set up! You have motivated me because I don’t feel so alone, and I feel so inspired by your burst of energy and inspiration to get your closet done last night Leah! Way to go!!!” Love, Linda

Parents don’t get stuck on the details. Just get a space and begin to create MAGIC! I want you to see Jody’s families Closet – The Phantom Tollbooth. They have had a ball creating it.

You can do this if you will look at your family carefully and see what they need, remember the five “must have” rules and stay present. Tomorrow I am going to share a wonderful story of a fabulous Kid School and how they use the Closet, Learn to teach the way they learn.

Possibly Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

Solar systems – planets: lesson ideas for homeschooling

by Mary Ann on January 8, 2011

Exploring the Solar System Together:

The Solar System model

“We started painting a solar system kit and I was frustrated that I had to look up facts to teach them as we went. But I realize that it would have been better to let them ask me questions about the planets as we created the solar system. No wonder one of the kids got mad and wouldn’t participate! She just wanted to create, she didn’t want a lecture.”

Constellations

There really isn’t a problem with taking a child with you on an exploration to answer a question. If you recall, that is exactly what I did when two year old Jack wanted to know how a rain stick worked and when he wanted to know about caterpillars. Don’t you be frustrated and neither will your child be frustrated (screaming child). Treat not knowing as a grand door to adventure and then take it together.

It works really well to just enjoy watching your children and commenting on whatever they are doing and how well the project is turning out. Then, because you are there and interested they may ask you questions. If you don’t know the answer just admit it. Tell them that you can all find out like I did when my granddaughters wanted to know how crystals were made. Then look in a book that you have put into The Spark Station on the subject or, if no book is available make a trip to the library together or go online.

Space Flight

While your children are engaging with things that interest them that you have put into The Spark Station you can engage in a familiar conversation. Did you know…. You only follow a statement like this up with something else if your children converse back. If they don’t just stay present, wait a bit and then throw out another tidbit.

Here is some great information that I found about the subject this mother was working with. It should give you great content for your Spark Station. Add some wonderful books with lots of pictures from the library and maybe a field trip to a planetarium or to the back yard for some star gazing.

A Child’s Solar System

Some exciting solar system activities:

Create a scaled down universe on your kitchen table using peas, fruit, and nuts. You’ll have a better sense of the vast size of the solar system.

Here is another solar system to make.

Make a planetarium, and you can create representations of the night sky in your house.

Create a star theater and show your family some cool constellations.

Make a solar system mobile.

In this game you can be the earth and understand the phases of the moon.

Some of these color pages are great. You can find more free coloring pages from Dover sampler. Creating your own file will ensure that you never run out of pages.

Here is an interesting fact: some scientists are not counting Pluto as a planet anymore. Here is an easy way to remember the planets. The eight planets are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. Remember them with this little ditty: My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Neptune.

Here is a great 2 minute video that introduces the solar system to kids.

You can introduce your children to some fables about the sun and moon and stars. You will find them from many countries. Try Aesop’s fable, The North Wind and the Sun; or read a Maasai fable.

Some more interesting solar system facts.

Did you know that the inner solar system contains Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars? These four planets are closest to the Sun.

Did you know that the outer solar system contains Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto?

Did you know that the inner planets are separated from the outer planets by the Asteroid Belt?

Did you know that some scientists no longer count Pluto as a planet?

Your Spark Station can provide you and your children with a lot of fun as you learn about the Solar System.

Possibly Related Posts:

{ 1 comment }

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →

Benefits of eating together as a family

Learn to teach the way they learn

Expectations can halt our progress

Solar systems – planets: lesson ideas for homeschooling

Upcoming Events:

LDS Home School Convention

LDS Home School Convention

Connect With Mary Ann:

Categories

Archives

Click to Expand: