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Glenn Morshower on the best thing he did for his children

by Mary Ann on September 23, 2011

picture of Glenn Morshower with his wife

The Morshowers

A couple of months ago I had the privilege and fun of interviewing Glenn Morshower. Here is part II of that interview. PartI can be read at Interview with Glenn Morshower on parenting

Question 2 – What is the best thing that you did for your children as a parent?

Glenn – Things occur for a reason even bad things. I am not saying that what I am going to tell you is the TOP reason bad things occur but I surely think it falls in the top 3 – clarification.

When bad things happen we are forced to go where we don’t want to go and in being there we know we don’t belong. We have clarification!

This knowledge helps us make more healthy choices, because we know we don’t belong in this difficult place. We want to change it.

So we begin to make changes; not at microwave speed but in small increments.

The changes I made were:

To give my children unconditional and powerful love and affection. We openly displayed affection in our home. We did a lot of hugging and kissing.
I listened to them all the time.
I gave them the freedom to learn and loved them through the process.
I was gentle.
I taught them to make consequence based choices.
Most of all I gave them TONS of fun.

Now that they are 29 and 31 I still give them tons of fun. I still play with them. They think their dad is a nut.

I think God has encouraged me to make a change in the Golden Rule. I say this with all reverence. The whisper said, “You know there is something in you that knows the Golden Rule can be improved.” Because of this knowingness I have reframed that rule from “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” to “Do unto others as you would have life do unto you.”

Can you see the difference? In the first rule you don’t have to be kind to the waitress in Nome, Alaska that you will never see again. In another scenario you may be kind and the other person isn’t kind in return. They may even be hurtful.

But in this new way of stating the rule you do what is right because you understand that life will give back to you what you give out. You are kind to the waitress and the unkind stranger because life will give kindness, consideration, and gentleness back to you.

If you treat everyone with love and respect life will give you love and respect. If you give your resources freely life will give resources freely back to you.

I treated my children as I wanted life to treat me!

Glenn Morshower as Father Wade

Interview with Glenn Morshower Part III coming next week: The most powerful experience with his children-Glenn Morshower

Glenn Morshower is regarded as one of the busiest character actors in Hollywood. Best known for his role as Aaron Pierce on the FOX hit series 24, Glenn has a hugely successful acting career spanning 35 years.

Frequently seen in roles of authority, he has appeared in over 160 film and television projects including:

The Men Who Stare at Goats, Good Night and Good Luck, Black Hawk Down, Air Force One, Hostage, Under Siege, All the King’s Men, Pearl Harbor, Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and the upcoming Transformers 3, with running roles on CSI, The West Wing, and Friday Night Lights.

“The Extra Mile” is a series of performances which are written and performed by Glenn Morshower. The program is a combination of motivation speaking, story telling, dramatic and comedic performance, acting instruction, and life coaching. Thousands, including a good number of celebrities, have attended these events across the US. You can learn more about it at http://www.glennnmorshower.com/Motivational_Speaker.html

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Developing Effective Family Systems – How to

by Mary Ann on September 20, 2011

Kim Flynn - Queen of the Mama Biz

I have a friend and mentor who is a systems specialist. She has a very successful business teaching others how to play big and bold without living in their business and being riddled with guilt for not giving more to their families. She teaches business owners to use systems to free themselves so they can own a business but not run a business. Big difference! She has successfully owned five businesses herself while raising a family. However, long before Kim had her current business she began using systems with her family in her home.

The drawer you are looking at is in her office. She has never cleaned it out since she put it together a number of years ago. I know you are thinking “That is all well and good but I have kids who make chaos of everything”. Kim also has kids, four of them ranging in age from 2 to 11. She has included them in her systems and they have learned to have respect for systems. Systems bring this family a lot of time, order, and peace.

Kim's desk drawer - never reorganized!

I have been thinking a lot about that lately, the value of systems. Someone recently asked me how I overcame my yelling habit. I was a bit at a loss as to how to answer but I have thought about it. I developed a system. You can’t just say I am never going to do thus and such again. Will power is never enough to cause lasting change. What I had to do was devise a plan, a system, if you will, for what I was going to do instead of yelling. It wasn’t easy. It took some determination but here is what I have found to be the hardest, continuing to use the system once you have decided on one.

I am actually very organized. In fact I sometimes help other people organize their messes but they usually don’t stay organized because they don’t continue to use their new system to maintain the order. In my home I have developed a number of systems to maintain order and they work as long as I follow the system. If there is a place for the glue then that is where I need to put it when I am done and not put it on the vanity to put away later.

Brenley, a systems player in the Flynn home with her wonderful painting

Another problem with some of my systems is that I do not always get my family to enroll in them. So they have no reason to keep the system going. They think it is for my convenience and they have no vested interest in it. So eventually you have a mess in whatever area it is and you have to spend extra time to un-mess it.

The wonderful Austin Flynn and his amazing painting

This is what I have noticed about Kim and her family. She is not only a system expert but she has gotten her family to enroll in the systems and for the most part they use them.

The artist, my friend Jason Flynn

Here are some tips that might help you enroll yourself and your family in systems that will help everything run smoother.

Ask enrolling questions
Ask them to participate
Let them know what’s in it for them
Then earn the right to tell, teach or request anything of them

Here are two examples of how this might look:

1. Overcoming a bad habit of your own, let’s say procrastinating doing your dishes.

a. Ask yourself enrolling questions. Write them down.

Wouldn’t I love to see a clean kitchen every morning?
Wouldn’t it feel refreshing to never feel guilty about dishes again?

b. Welcome yourself to participate. Give yourself a pep talk. Write it down.

I am so glad that I am going to embark on this exciting new adventure. I am going to learn to be organized in the kitchen and get the dishes done and I am going to have a good time experiencing this new growth. I am excited!

c. Let yourself know what’s in it for you. Write it down.

When I have learned to really keep this kitchen clean I am going to be able to sit down with my family in the evening and read with them and I will feel so happy. Getting up in the morning and starting the day without dishes is going to be wildly freeing!

d. Then earn the right to ask this change from yourself. Write it down.

I have done a magnificent job organizing my Sunday School class. I know that I can organize myself and get the dishes done too, just like I do with my Sunday School class.

Once you are enrolled you will have made a firmer commitment to the change. You won’t be perfect but you will be successful. Whenever you find yourself flagging in your efforts then re-enroll yourself by reading out loud what you wrote down.

2. Getting your children to get chores done before school time.

a. Ask enrolling questions.

Would you like to rest and have a super snack after school time and watch a video?
Would you like me to teach you how we could do that?

b. Welcome them to participate.

I appreciate you guys talking with me this morning. I think that I have something really powerful to share with you that you are going to love that will help us be able to do those things after school time.

c. Let them know what’s in it for them.

I want to talk about how we can free up more time in the afternoon to do the restful things that we want to do. When we do this you are going to be able to read more; lay on the couch and think and enjoy a snack without having to rush. In fact on some days you are going to be able to watch a video.

E. Earn the right to make this suggestion.

You know I have been a mommy for over 12 years and I know a lot about getting things done really fast, really well and making time for rest and fun. I have been practicing doing these things for a long time and so I know a lot about it.

Now lay out your plan for how the chores can get done before school time. Then make sure that the rewards happen!

The point of this whole article is that if you have systems in your home, enroll your family in participating in them and then have rewards, you will save yourself a lot of time, live with less chaos and have more peace. When we don’t implement systems then we live by default. Our system is no system. This never makes a family as effective as it could be.

So look around. What one thing is bugging you the most? (I said ONE thing!) How could you change it? Now enroll your family in the effort to make a change.

I know that many of you out there have learned this principle. Share your experiences and help those who are just beginning to work on it. What has worked for you.

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Children learn about the stars

by Mary Ann on September 19, 2011

Jack making a star mobile

It doesn’t matter how WONDERFUL your Closet contents are…..some days just don’t work out the way you plan. I just wanted you to know that I have those days just like you. Wouldn’t it be superb if all school days and learning moments were stellar (no pun intended), but they aren’t!

Here is the thing…when a child has an interest and you don’t hear it you are going to be in trouble. Last Friday when I got to Jack’s home for grandma school he was OK with the ladybugs I brought but somewhere between the week before and last Friday he decided he wanted to make gingerbread. But I was there with ladybugs in hand. I said that I thought we could do gingerbread men the next time I came but a week is a horrendously long time for a three year old and so his mom said that they would make them later that day or the next.

Grandma school was early this last week, I came on Tuesday. I had stars in hand. Jack met me at the door and wanted to know if we were going to make gingerbread. His mom said, “Jack we are going to make some after grandma school.” They hadn’t been able to do it on the weekend. Jack was not a happy camper. If I was smart I would have just scrapped the stars and gone to the kitchen to make gingerbread. The truth is that although we did some wonderful activities today Jack’s heart was in the kitchen.

We began by hanging a large piece of black construction paper on the underside of the top bunk. Then we made a very dark fort with blankets and crawled inside. There were now stars on the ceiling of the bottom bunk and they glowed. I had painted some stars with glow paint. It was only marginally effective but Jack and Maggie liked being in the fort. I just hadn’t been able to find any glow in the dark stars.

I had painted the stars into the big dipper. It is the easiest of the constellations to talk about. I showed them a real dipper and we compared it to the shape of the stars. We talked about how the stars were created and by whom. We talked about the size of stars. Jack was sure they were very tiny. We held a small rock up to our eye and it seemed big. We then put it as far away as our arms would stretch and it was small. I told Maggie and Jack stars were like that, very big but very far away. We talked about why you can’t see stars in the day…that they are there but the sun outshines them.

I didn’t have my usual stack of wonderful books this time. I hadn’t had good luck at the library. I only had three and not the best but we still enjoyed reading them.

Star Crafts for Children:

We made two star crafts. One was a success and one was not so successful. We made a star mobile with construction paper stars and pieces of straw. It was a pattern and so we talked about the pattern…star, straw, star, straw. We used plastic needles to thread the stars and straws onto the string. That was really fun. Maggie liked that activity so much that we made her mobile twice as long. The reason that she liked it so much is that she is learning to use her thumb and forefinger to grab hold of things. It is a new and exciting skill for her and this particular activity gave her lots of practice.

Maggie's star mobile

Our second craft was called “Stars in a Bottle”. They didn’t work very well when we were done and having plastic bottles filled with mineral oil on the floor made me nervous even though the lids were glued on. The star sequins were supposed to float in the mineral oil and sparkle but they didn’t stay suspended very well.

Our "Stars in a Bottle" craft

We had some shiny stars for a treat (Hershey Kisses) and read our final book. Then it was off to the kitchen to make the gingerbread. When I left they were all very busy measuring and stirring.

This week is library week for the month. I am going to get my usual four weeks worth of books and topics. Before I go I am going to call Jack!!!

Books for Children about Stars:

How to Catch a Star by Oliver Jeffers
The North Star by Peter H. Reynolds
The Magic School Bus Sees Stars: A Book About Stars by Joanna Cole
The Stars, 2nd Edition: A New Way to See Them by H.A. Ray
Fancy Nancy Sees Stars by Jane O’Connor
Mr. Putter and Tabby See the Stars by Cynthia Rylant
Little Star by Anthony DeStefano
Stars Will Still Shine by Cynthia Rylant
Shinning Star by Megan McDonald
How the Stars Fell into the Sky: A Navajo Legend by Jerrie Oughton
How Many Stars in the Sky? by Lenny Holt
Stars by Mary Lyn Ray
The Big Dipper by Franklyn Branley and Molly
Stars by Steve Tomecek and Sachiko Yoshikawa.
Zoo in the Sky: A Book of Animal Constellations by Jacqueline Mitton and Christina Balit
Our Stars by Anne Rockwell
Star Climbing by Lou Fancher

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Interview with Glenn Morshower on Parenting

by Mary Ann on September 14, 2011

Interview with Glenn Morshower of the FOX Hit “24” – Part I

Glenn Morshower – 24’s Aaron Pierce

“In order to have an extraordinary life you must be extraordinary. To be extraordinary you must live by extraordinary means. If you life by typical means you cannot help but have a typical life.” Glenn Morshower

A couple of months ago I attended an event at which Glenn Morshower spoke. I was riveted by his humor, wisdom and pure joy in living. Later I asked him if he would let me do a short interview to share with you. He said he would be glad to and gave his phone number. I never called.

I thought about calling very often. I would look at his card, smile in remembrance of his exuberance and then put the card down.

Today I didn’t put the card down. I called and left a message on his machine reminding him who I was and what I wanted. I didn’t expect a call back. He is famous after all and a busy man.

The phone rang a short time later. Imagine my surprise to hear “Hi Mary, its Glenn.” It took me a moment to figure out Glenn who. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you called me back.” And that was how the following delightful hour began.

Glenn is an amazing individual. He has a zest for life that is infectious. He was fun to talk with and I had to write fast and furiously. (I do not know shorthand) I made every effort to gather as much as I could to share with you. I will be bringing you this interview over the next three weeks. Watch for it the next three Friday’s and enjoy!

Morshower in “Transformers”

Question 1 – Is there anything from your parenting which you regret?

Glenn – I can honestly say that I loved it all! It has been the best role I have ever played. Now that my children (ages 29 and 31) are grown I miss holding them and tucking them in.

Here is why I have no regrets in my parenting. My parents divorced when I was three.

“I learned early on that there is a purpose to the gifts we are given in life, even those experiences that are painful and are rarely viewed as gifts. My experiences were a gift and taught me character and gave me something to transcend.

I developed an awareness about life that I consider heaven’s gift to me. I became wide awake. I learned compassion and gained understanding and those are the things that I brought to my parenting.

There are two things that those who cross our path can give us.

• There are those give us a clear road map of how to live our life. They model excellent behavior and we should embrace the experience.
• There are those who will clearly model how not to live life. Instead of choosing what you want, choose instead the consequences you want. Make consequence-based choices. This leads to a healthier, happier life.

As adults, we need to be careful not to use “victim speak”.
Making excuses for our bad behavior or blaming circumstances for our bad behavior is unhealthy. Take the responsibility for your choices and make them consequence based.”

Mary Ann – Glenn chose love and tenderness which he found effortlessly flowed to his children because he decided to give them what he wanted. He made a decision.

The most poignant portion of his answer to this question was this: In giving what he wanted he found personal healing.

And isn’t that what we all really know is true – that what we give we get back in abundance. Glenn gave love instead of hurt.

Glenn Morshower in action

Interview with Glenn Morshower Part II coming next week: Glenn Morshower on the best thing he did for his children

Glenn Morshower is regarded as one of the busiest character actors in Hollywood. Best known for his role as Aaron Pierce on the FOX hit series 24, Glenn has a hugely successful acting career spanning 35 years. He and his high school sweetheart Carolyn married in 1978 and have two grown children.

“The Extra Mile” is a series of performances which are written and performed by Glenn Morshower. The program is a combination of motivational speaking, story telling, dramatic and comedic performance, acting instruction, and life coaching. Thousands, including a good number of celebrities, have attended these events across the US. You can learn more about it here.

Glenn Morshower on the best thing he did for his children

Developing Effective Family Systems – How to

Children learn about the stars

Star Crafts for Children:

Books for Children about Stars:

Interview with Glenn Morshower on Parenting

Upcoming Events:

LDS Home School Convention

LDS Home School Convention

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