How Are Don and I Doing With Our Goals

by Mary Ann on October 22, 2010

Don and I are about six months away from our 40th anniversary. In June we had out last child move out after 38 years of parenting. Big changes have happened in how we relate to one another, how we spend our time and what the future holds.

I wrote two articles about changes that I wanted to make in order to solidify our relationship and our marriage as we move into the future together. I told you I would let you know how it was going. For all of you who didn’t read those two posts, I wrote about Getting Support From Spouse in Homeschooling and The Five Rules Apply to Everything

I wish I could say that we have done everything we set out to do but I can’t. Just like any real life planning, some will move along smoothly, some gets a slow start, and some just hasn’t happened yet. That’s how real life is. Of course there are ways to insure that eventually we reach our goals. But in the meantime we have to be careful to look at life as a process of growing and not become discouraged when everything isn’t perfect.

So how are we doing? Well, I mentioned that in order to get a Mission Statement written “I was going to move Don along slowly.”

I have to admit that I haven’t done my part. I haven’t called our 15 minute meeting that we agreed upon, not even once. I am recommitting myself to this because I know that it matters and it will help our “Golden Years” be truly golden.

Now for the walking and reading! When I wrote about that I reminded myself and you how important the five rules would be in our success. We haven’t scheduled time for the walking and there is where the rubber truly meets the road. Consequently our walking is sporadic at best. That is on the agenda for our first 15 minute meeting, which will be this Sunday! Really!! : )

As for the reading we are doing an AMAZING JOB! We read our scriptures and another good book almost every evening. We love the time together.

It hasn’t been perfect but then things rarely are. When we read one chapter of our scriptures and then one chapter of our current book [we just finished As A Man Thinketh by James Allen and started Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell] it may take only 15 minutes. The other day I was soooooooooo tempted to tell my husband that we needed to designate an hour for our reading time. Then I remembered rule four of the Five rules of engagement – Keep it simple. In this case it translates to “don’t overload your schedule and don’t push your husband farther or faster than he can go!”

When we are reading we sometimes have to remind ourselves to be present. At 9:00pm we usually tear ourselves away from our computers and work. Our minds don’t always want to make the shift from work to relaxing and learning together. Last night I could tell Don was struggling with that because instead of reclining on the bed like usual he was sitting in a chair and at one point said, “Did you start another chapter?” He hung tough though and stayed with me to the end. Good man!

In anything that you want to go well utilize the Five Rules of Engagement. Schedule time for it and then be consistent in honoring the time. Be Present. Make it special; come with a cup of herb tea or coco. Don’t overload the time. Keep it simple. Plan ahead so things don’t interfere. If we don’t plan we will always defer to what seems the most immediate in importance. Put on a smile. Enjoy.

Now that I have reminded myself of what will help Don and I be more successful in crafting the next few years of our lives alone I am excited. I can visualize quiet evenings, warm conversations, stimulating new thoughts and hands held. I look forward to this new time, this “empty nest” time and being with the person I love best. I know that as we keep the Five Rules, have real intent to succeed and are consistent in our efforts we will succeed. You can too, in whatever you want to implement in your family. You can do this!!

Possibly Related Posts:

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Kimberly October 25, 2010 at 1:13 am

It is so lovely and inspiring to read about your intentional relationship with your husband! Well done for 40 years, you are fabulous role models for your children and others.


Mary Ann October 26, 2010 at 7:04 pm

Hi Kimberly,

I always appreciate it when I know you have been here. I check out your site a few times a week. I am studying what you have to say. Thank you for your support and your kind words! They make my day.


Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: