Just Do It!

by Mary Ann on April 23, 2013

 

Maggie doing her family work.

Maggie doing her family work.

What does just do it look like?

 

There are some real advantages to having a family of six move in with you, especially if they have four children six and under. I have gotten a birds eye view reminder of what it is REALLY like to parent and home educate. I have been thinking back to my own days and this has really brought back memories, some good and some bad.

Today was just a particularly interesting and REAL day and I just had to share. It was an example of what “just do it” means in a family.

I heard the children at about 6:30 but I didn’t get up until after 7:00. It was quiet in the living room with Jodie busily working on her computer while children watched a movie around her. That is how Jodie gets her own devotional and study time in from 6:30 to 8:00, the movie is essential. We all know that watching a movie isn’t the best way to occupy children but, well, you do what you can, right.

Breakfast happens in shifts as each child awakes. It takes about an hour to feed Maggie, the six year old with CP, and so Jodie often does that while she reads her scriptures or does her planning for the day on the computer. If all goes well, and today it did, everyone is happy, it feels peaceful and all are fed by 8:00 or so. I might mention here that sometimes one or more child has two breakfasts because by the time the first wakes up till the last wakes up, or Jodie has time to get food to each one, a number of hours can go by. By then early risers are ready for breakfast two. In fact, I had forgotten how often you have to stop and get food for someone in this age group! No matter how your morning goes as you move towards structured family learning time you just have to keep doing it.

On mornings where it all doesn’t go as smoothly as today it might be 10:00 before everyone is fed and dressed. Those are the noisy and sometimes exhausting mornings. You just have to keep smiling, hugging and remembering that this to will pass.

Just do it happens even when its not perfect!

Then it’s getting all the littles changed and dressed. This is less peaceful and usually goes a bit less smoothly. : ); you know how it is. One doesn’t like what you have given them to wear, another doesn’t want their diaper changed, a third won’t hold still long enough to get dressed and all the while Maggie is asking for her Ipad in a loud and “where are you” squeal.

Then it was family devotional. Quiet reverence is not the standard here. There is family singing with one voice, mom’s. There is a lot of sit down, fold your arms, can you listen please and sighing…on mom’s part. As I watch and sometimes participate, I sometimes think that I would just bag it and move on. Mom is a stalwart for sure.

By about 10:15 today all the aforementioned was finally accomplished, mom had showered and dressed and it was time for family work. (How she got a shower in there I am not quite sure!) Family work is never called chores. It isn’t a chore to do your part in your family. Chores are saved for consequences when you forget to do as asked in a pleasant way, which on some days can be often! : )

Family chores are one way that Jodie and Doug help their children gain confidence and pride in their abilities. I saw Jodie pull about 6-8 folded dishcloths out of the drawer, unfold them and give them to Jack to fold. (He didn’t see her unfold them.) This happened because there wasn’t any clean laundry to fold. It wasn’t that there wasn’t any laundry; it was just all still dirty.  Often laundry takes a back seat to what really matters.

Jack folding dish towels.

Jack folding dish towels.

Mary was assigned to empty waste baskets.

Mary emptying garbage

Mary emptying garbage

Benny carried his little broom around copying the bigs in his life.

Benny copying the "bigs".

Benny copying the “bigs”.

Maggie swept and vacuumed and she loves helping. It will always be a special treat to her because it is never mundane.

Maggie sweeping.

Maggie sweeping.

After family work it was “family structured time”. Today they read the classic they are working on “Raggedy Ann and Andy”.

Reading Raggedy Ann in structured family time.

Reading Raggedy Ann in structured family time.

Then it was helping Maggie play ball. Jack is a great big brother.

Jack helping Maggie play ball.

Jack helping Maggie play ball.

A few weeks ago I was talking about hedge hogs to the kids. We looked at pictures and videos on line and they were so taken with them. Today Jack asked to make a hedgehog, out of the blue! You can see here that he has a very creative mom, just stuff out of the odds and ends box. She didn’t wait to make a better plan (for a more real looking hedgehog) but just used what she had.

Potato craft

Potato Hedgehogs

I want you to know that I am really mad at myself for not taking a picture of the kitchen table when they started their hedgehog project. It was a disaster. Most of what we used for dinner was still there from last night. I am sorry to have to confess that, but there it is. Jodie did what any great mom would do. She pushed it out of the way and carried on.

And here in a borrowed home, in cramped quarters, that was all of it, all there was to “kid school”. There are thoughts in both our minds, mine and Jodie’s, about what a successful home education and family together day ought to look like. This is what it looks like for now.

Instead of requiring everything to be “just right” before you move forward, decide instead to “just do it!” It’s progress not perfection that gets the job done.

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Creative Thinking – More out of the box ideas

by Mary Ann on April 19, 2013

I probably relate because I am always wishing I had a recipe holder!!

I probably relate because I am always wishing I had a recipe holder!!

Today I used creative thinking!!

 

Today I plugged my vacuum into the same old socket, with the same old result…it didn’t hold tight. As I was looking at it I remembered that I didn’t have to use this same old plug or I could use Jodie’s creative thinking trick  to get it to perform better. I made the change and voila, stress free vacuuming.

This is perfect if you don't like washing dishes!

This is perfect if you don’t like washing dishes!

It is a wonderful thing to come up with a new way to solve old problems. It is wonderful to put on our creative thinking cap and come up with something totally new. Today’s article is not serious!! It is strictly for fun. After I wrote the blog “Stop In the Box Thinking” I saw these ideas and I just can’t help myself, I have to share them with you as a celebration of thinking out of the box as often as we can. Enjoy!!

Brilliant!!

Brilliant!!

Creative thinking in the kitchen

I thought this was totally brilliant. I cook with kids all the time and I can tell you that making pancakes can be really messy!! My little gandkids would love this. Then we would only have to learn how to flip and keep it in the pan. : )

creative thinkingI have been using this trick for over forty years. I have used it in my cake decorating and gingerbread making forever. It works!! Love that dental floss or thread.

I raised seven children in Montana. I was the queen of canning and that is no joke! The last year that I canned Icanning corn did well over 1300 quarts. Wish I had done a bit of out of the box thinking then because canning corn is totally MESSY! This is such a fun idea and I bet it would have made my boys really happy to help.

 

This one is for my husband who wants to buy every gadget he sees at the fair, including the special taco shell maker. This will really save my kitchen from one more addition. Sorry honey!

taco shells

Creative thinking for pure joy

I saved this for last because it will thrill some of you. I, myself, NEVER eat Oreo’s but for those of you who do and like keeping your fingers clean – this one’s for you.

oreos

Have a wonderful summer of thinking out of the box. If we practice on little things like outlets and Oreo’s then we will do better when the stakes are high, as in our relationships with our children.

Come on, share your out of the box solutions and creative thinking.

 

 

 

 

 

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Stop in the box thinking

by Mary Ann on March 21, 2013

Getting out of the box can lead to more happiness

Getting out of the box can lead to more happiness

In the box thinking can happen at home!

 

We usually associate in the box thinking with business, either in creating new products or repairing business relationships.

Let me share a story about in the box thinking that has nothing to do with business. I have lived in my apartment for almost ten years. I love my apartment except for one thing, there are not many electrical outlets and they don’t all work well. I know, I know, I should get them fixed but as with most things that don’t cause enough discomfort, I just think about doing it, feel frustrated and suffer.

Because of the outlet situation I have always plugged my vacuum into the outlet in the bathroom which is just down a short hall from the living room. It is high on the wall by the mirror. It doesn’t hold the plug tightly and it frequently falls out and I have to plug it back in. It makes me so exasperated every time that I vacuum and usually by the time I am done I am angry at the vacuum and the plug, as if they are living things just out to make my life miserable. I have even been known to yell at the vacuum or the plug as if that is going to do any good. I was a victim to a home with lousy outlets! When I am ready to vacuum I sometimes think about how exasperating it is going to be. I am bugged before I start.

Getting a little help from a friend

Getting a little help from a friend

My daughter was helping me the other day and I noticed that she had plugged the vacuum in the kitchen which is also right off of the living room. I was amazed because it had never occurred to me to do that. I had always plugged it in the bathroom. I was often upset over the situation but I was busy and had a time line to meet. It was just get it done and get on to the next thing. This is an example of classic in the box thinking.

It took an outside view to help me to see another alternative to the problem that I was having. The next day she had another idea. She showed me that if I still wanted to use the bathroom plug all I had to do was wrap the cord around the towel rack hanging just above the plug and it would stay in. Imagine, two new possible solutions to my problem in two days after ten years of frustration. Both solutions were simple and workable.

I had gotten into the box when it came to vacuuming. Being frustrated and bugged and angry and feeling like a victim of bad outlets had become a habit for me.

I am sure you are saying to yourself how silly I am, how foolish to put up with a bothersome situation so long when there were some perfectly easy solutions right under my nose. You are right but that is what in the box thinking is…moving down one road and not taking the time to consider other alternatives,   feeling put upon, bothered, stuck and victimized.

I am telling you this story because this is what happens in our families. A child is bugging us, we can’t figure out how to solve a problem in our school efforts, we can’t seem to “fix” our schedule, the kids won’t do their chores,  and there are an abundance of other things.

We are all very busy moms and dads and sometimes we just do not take the time to step back and think out of the box in order to resolve an issue in our families  It is easier to just put up with things that are bugging us until they begin to cause real pain. By then we can be in real trouble.

It is also easier to blame someone else just as I blamed the vacuum cord and the plug. The real problem was easy to solve for my daughter who didn’t blame anything, who wasn’t willing to be frustrated and who was willing to STOP, look and see what other options were available.

Once we climb outside the box, all sorts of possible solutions emerge. Thinking out of the box is associated with creativity, it causes us to move in diverging directions, to consider a variety of solutions, to not feel like victims.

We all need help to get out of our boxes. If we make the effort we can find more peace in our families and in our relationships. When we learn to stop and look at our relationships in new ways we can solve our deepest, most difficult and persistent family problems.

 STOP in the box thinking

  • If you feel like a victim  that is a big red flag you are in the box
  • Stop blaming whatever is bothering you…a child, a spouse, a neighbor, a plug!
  • Take responsibility for the problem even if you think it isn’t your problem
  • This opens your mind to alternatives

Books to help you learn to stop in the box thinking

  • Leadership and Self Deception by The Arbinger Institute
  • The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute
  • The Choice The Arbinger Institute
  • Bonds That Make Us Free The Arbinger Institute

 

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The Good, Bad and Ugly of Parenting

by Mary Ann on February 20, 2013

baby boy eating

The almost one year old, Benjamin

Tonight I cooked dinner with a baby riding on my hip and a three year old helping me brown onions and hamburger on the stove for “jelly” sauce (spaghetti sauce). It was a bit cumbersome trying to keep a three year old out of harms way while allowing her to help and an almost one year old grabbing for everything he could reach from my hip.

I did all this while trying not to step on anything that would send me crashing to the floor, seeing that the almost one year old on my hip had emptied the utensil drawer.

I could hear the four old making lots of noise from the living room and so I carried almost one year old and three year old to see what was up. He was running his trucks through the maze laid out in a random pattern on practically every square inch of the living room floor. All’s well here, back to the “jelly” sauce.

boy and girl

The four year old, Jack, and the three year old, Mary.

Meanwhile the six old was yelling for help with her Ipad. Maggie has cerebral palsy and has a way of letting us all know when her Ipad is not cooperating with her limited hand movement. Right now she was letting me know…loudly.

girl with horse

The six year old, Maggie

“Jelly” sauce simmering, noodles boiling and three year old slopping melted garlic butter on a tower of French bread. I heard her say, oops, never a good sign. Seems as if some of the garlic butter has found its way down her chest and onto the fabric covered chairs. No problem, just mixing with the strawberry ice cream drops from the night before.

I pop the garlic bread into the oven to broil (toast) and head to the sink to drain the noodles. Almost one year old is trying to crawl up my leg and I notice the sink is full of cups. I set the strainer on the cups, it will be ok they aren’t washed yet anyway, and dump the noodles. Cups not stable, strainer tips. I grab for HOT noodles as many slide down the drain.

Then I smell scorched bread. Our garlic toast is going to be a bit crisper and darker than I had planned.

I holler to the almost four year old, “Jack go tell Grandpa that grandma needs him…NOW!

family

Grandpa and the three year old! We were all worn out!!

How did I get into this predicament anyway? I am 63 with a 64 year old husband and three years ago our youngest child got married and left home, this was after 39 years of in-house parenting.

So how did I get into this predicament?

My daughter and son in law and four grandchildren have come to live for a while, a few weeks or months while their home sells and another comes into their lives. It makes for tight quarters in our three bedroom apartment.

Frankly, the last few days have been a lot like raising our seven children in our 100 year old home in a small town in Montana, chaos, noise, mess, spills, crying, laughing, fun, not so fun….

I am reminded that it isn’t easy being a parent. Life isn’t what we thought it would be when we married and started having kids. It has been quite a bit more challenging and messy than we anticipated…a bit like the last few days. But oh my goodness, it has been worth it!!!

large family

Our family!

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