A Peaceful Christmas Part 3 – Keeping it simple brings peace (Part 1).

Christmas Love Joy picture

Christmas Peace, Love, Joy

Over the last few days I have been sharing our Christmas of Peace experience with you. Here is the final installment of the story.

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My mom NaVon

I really worried about what to do for my mom,I wanted to give her a very special gift. She is 80 years old and lives in a small home. She has everything she needs as far as worldly possessions. Here is what she doesn’t have, the sure knowledge that she has done a good job as a parent. It ought to be obvious to her. But mothers do this, they worry about what they didn’t do and undervalue what they did do.

So I really pondered the problem of what to give her. One day I had a thought which I believe was from the Divine. I was to write her a letter and I was even counseled what to write about. It was a topic I could really get into, the many amazing gifts of love that she had given over the years despite hard financial times. So I sat down and wrote a nice little letter. When I prepared to copy and mail it I felt, “No, it isn’t done.” Gee I had a ton of other things to get on to!

But I STOPPED and thought about it. Then I spent the next five hours crafting the letter. (It took a lot longer than I had anticipated.) I dug through my old papers and found her original poems that came with each gift, which were always my children’s favorite. I ended the letter with this:

“All the years of my growing up you demonstrated to me how to live gracefully and abundantly no matter what was happening. I think this has been an amazing gift and has made it possible for me to do the same.

All I can give to you this year mom is my love and gratitude for a mother that lived fully despite lots of kids, no money, no car and being alone a lot of the time. It has made all the difference in my life.

I love you so much. Merry Christmas.”

Here is one example of what my mom would send each year. They didn’t have a lot of money and she had eight living children and a few dozen grandchildren. This particular year she and grandpa sent a big box of candied pop corn.

A Kernel of Love

popcorn candy picture

A Kernel of Love

Sometimes all you can do is not very much

For reasons hard to define.

Yet you’d like to do “oh so many things”

To make everything “just fine”.

This package is all I have to offer

To show how much we care.

But every kernel is a bit of love

And the sweet is the love we share.

May you remember the things we’ve done,

With fondness, with each tasty bite.

And maybe somehow we can join our souls,

And everything “Will Be Alright”!

My children LOVED that gift. It was one of their favorites!

My mom loved the letter I wrote. It was just what she needed.

Here is one final experience from our Christmas of Peace experiment.  My father was an educator. He developed a testing device to

grandparents picture

NaVon and Verl, my dad

find learning disabilities in children and spent many years working with them. However, in his heart of hearts he was a restaurateur. We always had a drive-in, or restaurant of some kind.

He was also a preparer, preparing for what might happen in life. He loved storing food, blankets, water, you name it. When he passed away we had a basement of ‘stuff’ to sift through. One of the things that we found was a box of bagged nutmeg. We are talking pounds of nutmeg! After my five sisters took what they wanted I came home with about 40 pounds of the spice.

As we contemplated what we could do to show our friends and church members our appreciation for their friendship over the years we had a thought. We bagged the nutmeg into ¼ pound bags and tied them with red ribbon to four delicious and delightful nutmeg cookie recipes.

As my daughter and I bagged I felt that my father was with us and was happy; happy that we hadn’t thrown it away, happy that we were putting it to good use. When we had made over 100 gift bags to share I had about 6 pounds left. Then I had this distinct impression: Save the rest. You can barter it. Good grief, that is so my dad and I am taking that advice. : )

I know that it has taken me a bit of time to share all this with you but I had an important purpose. I really do believe that keeping things simple brings peace whether we are talking about family schedules, the content of our Spark Station or the gifts we give at Christmas. It is important to remember what is really important. Rule of engagement 4 (under effective home school teaching strategies), “Keep it Simple“, is vital to peace of mind, to doing what is really needed and to making way for good things to come into our lives.

I wrote a blog yesterday about the wonderful article,Rachel DeMille wrote on this very subject (personal/family retreat ideas) . In case you missed it take the time to read it. I myself am going to take the time to reevaluate for the coming new year.

I also read a wonderful article by Michael McLean written for Meridian Magazine. He talked about getting and giving what is really needed.

What I am not saying  is that we shouldn’t shop, buy gifts, attend parties or cook for a week, if that is what we want to do. What I am saying is that it is important to avoid unrealistic expectations from ourselves and others. It is important to avoid needless busyness. It is important to determine what is most needful and let the rest go.

This Christmas because we heeded rule 4, keep it simple, Don and I really did get what we needed and were able to give to our family what they really needed. It was a remarkable season. The sense of peace and joy came from doing less and not from doing it all without losing it!

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Personal and family retreat ideas for all

by Mary Ann on December 30, 2010

rachel demille picture

Rachel De Mille

Occasionally I read something that I just must pass on. This is one of those times.

I have 70 families in my current pilot program testing out the Spark Station Mastery Program. We are having a wonderful time. I have gotten so much great feed back and I know that they are really benefiting too. I am so excited about this program and can’t wait until it goes out to all of you come March 2011.

To facilitate support and information sharing we have created a Yahoo group. One of the topics that has come up on the group site and in our weekly calls is the difficulty of scheduling a family, deciding what stays and what goes. How in the world does one know, how do you decide. That, my friends, is a question worthy of some very thoughtful thinking and study. How we manage our time, our space and our family really does impact our family culture.

Yesterday I was reading a thought provoking piece on Rachel DeMille’s Face Book page. I got permission to share it with the 70 pilot families. I thought it was that good! This morning Rachel posted it on her tjed.org site. I hope you will all take the time to read it. It might just be the ticket for you.

I myself am going to have a ‘personal retreat’ before the first of the year to get myself in order for all the wonderful things that I know are coming my way in 2011. Happy and instructive reading to you. Happy New Year.

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The DeMille Family

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A Peaceful Christmas Part 2 – Keeping it simple brings peace (Part 1).

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Kate in a Christmas past

Yesterday I told you that Don and I decided that we weren’t going to spend any money this season. We focused on gifting  simple & inexpensive home made gifts that made our family  happy beyond limits.

I bet you are wondering what we did do for Christmas,without buying any gifts, and how our family felt about it. I also mentioned that we pared down our Christmas activities in order to have more quiet time at home, to have peace, which is what the season is really all about. Today I want to share a few of the things that happened because of that decision.

We sent our grown children, books which we selected out of our own library that we felt would have meaning for them, would help them in some way or that they would just love reading,as their Christmas gift. We also sent mementoes of the past that we thought might bring some joy and touch a heart. I’ll share what happened with two of our sons.

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Seth

One thing that we sent Seth, who turned 37 on the 27th of December, was the karate gee he had when he was nine years old. When I asked him how he liked his presents he said, “It still fits.” What fits, I replied. “My gee; it still fits. The legs and sleeves are short but it fits.” Amazing! He was so happy to know that it still existed and that he now had it, that he tried it on. He loved receiving that gift.

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Andrew

One of the things that we sent our son Andrew was a Christmas plaque that has hung in our home since the year he was born. I made it 30 years ago and it was a homely little thing. His sister Jenny, who rooms with him, said that when he opened his gift, his eyes got all tearful. He said that it was a ‘cool’ present and that he thought Jenny was just a tad jealous. : ) It meant a lot to him.

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Marie, Parker, Elizabeth, Ashley, Aubrey

I worried about our grandchildren and how they would feel about their gifts. To one family with four children we sent ten envelopes, each containing a picture or story and six small pieces of candy. Each story or picture had something to do with the Christmas season and the purpose for it. It was all just paper and a few bits of candy. Yet when I asked Marie what the children thought she replied that they were so excited and that Aubrey, who is eleven said, “We have the best grandma and grandpa in the whole world”. This from an almost teenager!

For the 21 years that we lived in Laurel, MT. my best friend Linda Brannon would bring us a HUGE platter of assorted cookies. Because we had seven children she didn’t just bring a token plate, she brought a platter. It was really the height of the Christmas season for our children. Baking cookies was an art for Linda and consumed about two weeks of each December. It was a labor of love for her.

mom and baby pictures

Jodie and Mary

About a week before Christmas Jodie, my oldest daughter, mentioned that she was feeling really nostalgic about those cookies. I decided that I would recreate that experience for her for Christmas,as a special gift. I took one whole Saturday and baked up a storm. Then Don and I gifted the cookies to her.

Later she told me this story. Doug, her husband had been feeling a bit down. He just didn’t have the Christmas spirit. Both of Doug’s parents are deceased. She said that when the cookies came into their home his entire countenance changed. He became animated, happy, and full of joy. I think that it reminded him of mother and home.

As a postscript to this experience I decided to take another day and bake up another storm, to replace all the cookies that we had given away, to Jodie and other families. I had the distinct impression to let it go, that it wasn’t necessary. I didn’t bake and spent that day instead loving and being present with my family.

Tune in tomorrow for the rest and final bit of the story,A letter of love & gratitiude-My Christmas gift to mom.

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A simple and peaceful Christmas celebration

by Mary Ann on December 29, 2010

A Peaceful Christmas Part 1 – Keeping it simple brings peace.

Christmas card picture
Before I end the holiday season I want to say something about my Christmas and about Rule of Engagement number 4, keep it simple. I believe that keeping things simple is a principle that leads to peace. Really I do. So I want to share how my husband, Don, and I used this principle this Christmas to have just that, peace; a peaceful Christmas. It will take two blogs to tell you all about it.

We decided that we weren’t going to spend any money this season. Yes, you heard right, no money (except for shipping.) We weren’t sure how we were going to do that with one mother still with us, eight grandchildren and seven children of our own and assorted spouses, not to mention all of our friends and members of our church. It was something that we were really going to have to think about.

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I want to report that we were able to almost keep that promise to ourselves. We did purchase one thing for a baby (under $10) and a two year old ( under $6.00) and a magazine subscription for a 15 year old, and we bought a few cookie making supplies. Oh yes, and Don cheated and bought me a book that I adore!!

I am going to let you in on how this simple decision to simplify the season brought us peace and I also want to share a few of the peaceable experiences that we shared with our family.

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We only went shopping once for about forty minutes. Not shopping was an amazing experience. It gave us more time to be together. We spent more time each evening curled up on our sofa reading Christmas stories and drinking hot coco. It was wonderful. We didn’t have to fight traffic, crowds or worry about accumulating any more debt. That in itself was very freeing.

We had to talk a bit more about what we were going to do with our family for Christmas. That led to some conversations about Christmases past and Christmases future. Loved that!

christmas pictures
Another decision we made was to not run around going to everything that came along. We were going to be picky about where and when we celebrated. We attended Don’s work party, went to Temple Square with my youngest daughter’s in-laws and our families and spent time in the homes of our daughters. That was it.

We also decided to serve more than shop or bake or party. That had some unexpected gifts attached to it. Tomorrow I’ll share some stories of  how our children felt about their simple inexpensive homemade gifts and what our grandchildren thought.

The whole point of the decisions that Don and I made this year was to live better the principle of keeping it simple and peaceful. I think that our efforts paid dividends.

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