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Many fathers are becoming more involved in the education of their children

Why do people home school? It is interesting that the reason people home school has changed so much and that the number of families who are choosing to homeschool has grown so dramatically. Home schooling has grown from 850,000 children in 1999 to more than 1.1 million today, according to the U.S. Education Dept. That is amazing and in my mind wonderful.

In the early years religion was the main reason many parents opted to home school. As a child of the 60’s I can recall that being a hippie was also a reason for homeschooling, getting off the grid so to speak. : )

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There are many methodologies for homeschooling

Many non-homeschoolers still think that is the case, however the homeschool landscape is changing dramatically. The number one motivation today, research shows, is the concern about traditional school environments including negative peer pressure, safety, and drugs. Another top motivator is that schools are not adapting with the times.

I was recently reading an article about many of these changes in the way people think about education and their families.

There is a growing trend among the educated elite that says, “I can do a better job of preparing my child for life than the school system, which presents information for an outdated economy.” These parents want their children actively learning, hands on, so to speak. Their goal in home educating their children is so that they will have an edge in the global economy. In this circle homeschooling is attaining a reputation as a secret weapon for Ivy League admission.

Many parents just want a bigger part in their children’s lives. When a child walks out of the house between 7:30 and 8:30 every day

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Allan and Gracie Donaghey making a tornado in a bottle

and comes home between 3 and 5 in the afternoon it cuts into family time in a major way. Parents aren’t as intimidated these days in their own ability to teach their children and see it as a way of pulling their families back together.

The change in the traditional work landscape from “a place where one works” to being able to work from home or any number of locations has moved the cause of homeschooling. Homeschooling frees families from the need to live in one place for the majority of the year. It allows families the freedom to move from place to place as work and inclination lead them. The internet has made schooling available to children in fairly traditional formats, as well as nontraditional formats, no matter where they live.

Another reason more parents are feeling free to enter the world of homeschooling with their children is that it is gaining  acceptability. The fact that homeschoolers have long swept the national spelling bees and geography contests has helped change the perception of homeschool. For goodness sake there is even a reality show about a home school student named Scott who got an almost perfect SAT score. These things cannot help but de-stigmatize the idea of homeschooling.

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Families are finding it enjoyable to study and be together 

Most of the parents that I work with homeschool for many of these same reasons and others. They want their children to have strong core values. They want them to see the world and its history as a whole, not in fragmented parts. They want to teach  their children to think and not just memorize. They want them to love learning. Many of these parents feel a great need to link education to the maintenance of freedom and healthy progression of society. They want their children to learn to serve and give back.

No matter what the reasons are that parents have for choosing to homeschool their children it is a choice that still takes some courage to make. Eunjee Viscardi who is a neuroscientist and now a homeschooling mom said,  “It was nerve-racking because we’re all brainwashed to believe that our children have to be in school.”

Lynne Miles-Morillo, a mother of three, said that what surprised her was how lovely it was for the family to create its own educational rituals.

It is safe to say that homeschooling is here to stay.

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It is lovely for a family to create their own educational rituals.

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Valuing yourself and being present in life

by Mary Ann on May 10, 2011

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Briana Blackwelder, who understood “being present”

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The ability to “be present” with others is a gift we give

I attended the funeral of a sweet young woman a week ago. She was 28 years old, an accomplished person, and a brilliant midwife. She had helped bring two of my grandchildren into the world. It was the most exquisite funeral I have ever attended, if that word can be applied to a funeral.

It was hugely impactful for me personally. Of course, like the few hundred people there I was grieving a tremendous loss. But it was so much more than that. Briana Blackwelder was a unique person in the sense that she understood the value and vital importance of consistently being present with not only people, but with life.

I often talk about parents being present with their children, to really look at them, listen to them and focus on what they aren’t saying. But at Briana’s funeral, I had an epiphany that “presence” as a principle is more than skin deep, it extends into all parts of our life.

I have discovered that I have had a much harder time using the principle of presence in my life as a whole than I do using it with children and the Spark Station. I recently began working on some things with my mentor. What she said to me took me by surprise. “Look, you aren’t going to get a handle on these issues until you understand the extension of ‘presence’ in one’s life.” Even though I know that being present is a life principle, I hadn’t really thought about how it applied to my life, me personally. I have since thought about it a lot, which brings me back to Briana’s funeral.

I believe that Briana understood and practiced being present in life. Over and over those who spoke talked about how she cared for herself. She took time for herself.

midwife images

Being present is a powerful principle in life

She didn’t skimp on her need for good food, time, education and friends, whatever. She valued herself. She paid attention to herself, which is being present with what we need personally for our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual rejuvenation. She knew how to value herself and stay present in her own life.

She didn’t just take care of herself though. She was present with others. So many people mentioned how she looked into your eyes, focused on your words, held you, reached out, gave you time. She invited people into her life and then fed them with presence. Her cousin said, “Briana is an amazing person. She has an infectious smile and the ability to set people at ease. She cares about the people around her and isn’t afraid to show it.”

Briana wasn’t perfect. They also mentioned her worries over her future, her deep desire for a family, her periodic insecurity about how she was doing. But despite the natural growth pains of life she understood how to be present with herself and others.

In the past ten years I have made great strides with being present with others. I don’t do email when I am on the phone (well, not as often) I invite people in to sit down and chat instead of conducting business on the door step because I am busy. I think about others more, I pray for others more, I try to remember what is happening in their lives more. I take time to call people, to listen to people.

However, I am now determined to get much better about being present in an expanded sense and to value myself and others, much more.

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Heather Hendrikson, notice the broach

I wanted to share my first effort at being more “present” in my life and in taking better care of myself. Some might think this is silly, but I can assure you it’s making a difference.

I have a young friend who wears jewelry every day. It amazes me. When she is scrubbing floors, feeding three young boys, playing ball in the back yard, she has on beautiful jewelry.

Since Monday I have worn a necklace and earrings every day, no matter how mundane the day. Sometimes it doesn’t really go with my work shirt but I wear some anyway.

Do you know how it feels? Really, really good. I am taking care of myself. I am present with me. I

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Being “present” in my own life

am giving myself some time, and thought and care.

I believe that being present is a principle of power. I believe that when we are present with life, as well as individuals, amazing and miraculous things happen for both us and them.

What are you going to do to be more “present” with your life? Share it with me, I’d love to hear.

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beautiful small girl picture

Mary playing “dress up”

I did something SCARY for the Traveling Spark Station. I have done crafts, sewing, cake decorating, gardening; you name it with hundreds of kids. Here is what I haven’t done, play; you know the pretend kind of play.

bee frog dress up pictures

                         1.Lady bugs and bees                                 2.Jack the frog, catching flies with his tongue

When I was young I imagined just like any other child. But by the time I was 14 I had completely stopped pretending. I would construct fabulous play spaces for my siblings and then I would let them play.

My children loved to engage in imaginative play. I watched them and enjoyed it very much but I didn’t enter the game. I’m not sure why that was.

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Little Mary was excited over the books

So I thought I would give it a try. The only things in the Traveling Spark Station were books that could be play acted and numerous large squares of material, and some play ideas for children in my brain. I was worried the last few days before grandma school. After all the oldest child was only 5. How was it going to go?

When I put the Spark Station tub on the floor Mary squealed over the book “The Little Red Hen

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If you are a cat it must be the Cat in the Hat!

Then we all sat down on the floor and read the Little Red Hen. Then we did a Little red hen activity, we acted it out. Maggie was the hen. Jack was the cat and insisted that he had to

little red hen play pictures

The Little Red Hen taking wheat to the mill

have whiskers and his Cat in the Hat hat. All the other children just wanted to watch. I began telling the story, helping Maggie (who has cerebral palsy) act out her part. “Then the little red hen asked the cat, will you help me plant my grain.” “Sure”, Jack replied.

Jack the cat said sure to every duty until the hen asked him to help take the grain to the mill. “No, I have to stay here with my mother”. It was hard keeping a straight face. Well, the bread was finally made and the red hen and the black cat cut it in half and shared the whole loaf. The end. It was a great play!

We had bread and butter for a snack. Jodie asked them if they would like to make some butter. (Totally unplanned) Would they! So while she got the stuff together we played “Black Bear Hunts for Grubs”.

kids stone dress up picture

Maggie the silver rock, Jack the green rock, Oaklen the red rock, Aunt Kate the gold rock

That is a game I made up on the spot. All the children crouched down with some corn puffs under their bellies and covered up with a square of material. The big black bear (me draped in black) sniffed and roared and clawed around the “stones”. When I found a stone I liked I turned it over and tried to steal the grubs underneath. There was a lot of squealing and laughing.

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Making butter in grandmas churn

Then off to the kitchen to make butter. We used my grandmother’s old hand crank butter churn. While the children were taking turns churning I read them The Story of Little Black Sambo

Then we read The Three Little Pigs

Then we read Jack and the Beanstalk

We were still churning and I said, “We are all going to turn grey before this cream turns into butter!” When the butter was finally done Jack went to his mother and in a very disappointed tone said, “I wanted to turn grey.” I powdered his hair so he could be grey like grandma but he looked up at me and said, “I wanted my whole body to be grey.” You never know what kids are thinking when they hear adults talk.

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Wrestling with Buzz Lightyear and sweating!!!

Jodie took over the churning and we all trooped back into the family room to play Buzz Lightyear. I was Zurg. I asked Jack to pass me the gold cloth and discovered that he didn’t know what gold looked like. A new word learned. I was a terrific Zurg but I kept getting lasered to death by Jack and Oaklan, both Buzz Lightyears. I didn’t have a chance.

As I lay dead they crept up to check me out and a terrific wrestling match ensued. I grabbed all the children and tussled them about amid flailing arms and legs and lots of giggles. I was sweating. Hey, grandmothers aren’t supposed to sweat!

Here is a pictorial of our butter adventure.

First we tried doing it the “right” way. Then we opted for a more modern tool.

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Butter making adventure

And then we opted for an even larger and more powerful tool. Sigh, back to the “right” way and finally BUTTER!

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Quiet reading

We ended grandma school by reading three classic tales. We all needed the rest. Little Red Riding Hood

Here is a lesson learned. The younger the child the more engagement they need from the adult to play with plain squares of material! Let’s get some 8, 9 and 10 year olds to come over next time! : )

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Mary enjoying the cream

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The Donaghey Family

“What can I share with Mary Ann’s audience that would be beneficial?” I asked myself.  As a ‘Spark Station’ newbie and a 51 year old mom of three kids, 26, 23, and 8, (and a grandma of one), I find myself still  striving for consistency and presence, two vital ingredients to the 5 Rules of Engagement.  Perhaps sharing one of my little battles may encourage someone else. Sometimes I forget to focus on the important things, relationships, priorities and gratitude.

Maybe like yours, our daily family and educational life together is far from perfect, and life keeps throwing obstacles that make consistency a challenge.  Here are some of our present circumstances:  We are living with 4 major areas in our home torn up due to immediate repairs that begged for attention last month.  Our 23 year old daughter (who currently lives at home) is finishing up college courses and working full-time, while getting ready to move out of state in three weeks to start her graduate studies.  We operate our Mold Inspection and Remediation business from our home.  These scenarios equal mental confusion for me which causes our daily routine being absent at worst, and spontaneous at best. This environment doesn’t fit my (perhaps unrealistic) ideal of order and predictability, and my mind starts to congeal.

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Gracie studying Louis Braille’s life

It finally dawned on me this week how Gracie, the 8 year old, really loves to play and learn all the time; even if the house is torn up and I am overwhelmed.  The mental fog that descends on me does not seem to dim her brightness!  Take Monday for example- during what should have been SFLT (structured family learning time), I was standing dazed in the kitchen and Gracie brought me a stack of magazines with pages marked and said, “Mom, look at all these cool things we can do together!”

I asked her to decide what she would like to do first, so we read an article on Louis Braille.  His life story of tragedy and struggle, coupled with his passion to read and learn, were definitely inspiring!  We used the Braille alphabet in the article to write our names and in the process Gracie discovered a mistake: two letters were the same.  After finding an online Braille alphabet we corrected the letter in error.  Then we started thinking of blind people in history that we had read about and decided to figure out when they lived in comparison to Mr. Braille: Mary Ingalls and Helen Keller, for example.  Since both of these women lived several decades later, we thought about how his work benefited them. Although nothing was planned ahead, we just made up a Louis Braille lesson plan in the moment.

When Dad came home that afternoon, Gracie was excited to share the article and her name written in Braille.  Dad also read and found the story of Louis Braille very interesting and shared it with Alicia (big sister) when she came home.

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Alicia – When a small child learns, a family learns!

  • None of this was planned before time (at this point in time, I don’t ‘consistently’ achieve Rule 5. Weekly planning 🙂 although I do try to keep interesting resources on hand.  This realization has been a great comfort to me and prompted me to think about what all Gracie does of her own volition.  I read back through my family journal and thought about all the imaginative activities she engages in:
  • Making furniture, home decor, clothing and accessories for her dolls
  • Playing with cars and blocks on the city mat
  • Pretending to teach children, school and Bible class
  • Pretending to teach piano
  • Pretending to perform: singing, ballet, piano, public speaking
  • Building dog and cat houses out of boxes
  • Pretending to read aloud- one of her favorite activities
  • Playing office- making appointments and sales
  • Playing ‘old days’ under the trampoline outside and gathering ‘ingredients’ (rocks, dirt, weeds), then cooking and serving        the meals

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    Gracie playing “old days” under the trampoline

You may be wondering how this relates to my struggle for consistency and presence.  It encourages me to:

  • accept each day as it comes and focus on the basics: relationships (being present) and priorities (be consistent with what’s important)
  • to be grateful for what I have, for the real treasures that surround me.

Submitted by Carolyn Donaghey – Carolyn home schooled her two older children for nine years, 1st through 9th grade. She began homeschooling their youngest, Gracie in second grade and was introduced to TJED about a year ago. They are privileged to live in a rural area. She and her husband have had their own business for most of their marriage. Mom, dad and Gracie spend extended family time together often and eat their meals together. Carolyn  enjoys home making, cooking, organizing, and some sewing. She loves reading, working outside, walking, and being with her family, and worshiping her Lord. Oh yes, she is learning to play the piano (again) too. : )

 

 

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