Family Mission Statement: Part III

by Mary Ann on June 17, 2010

Get the whole family involved in the fun!

In preparation for writing your family mission statement you’ve been considering what’s been holding you back and either let the excuses go or come up with strategies to overcome any real roadblocks. You’ve also been doing some creative work on your own through your “what do I want my family to do or know” list.

Now it’s time for everyone else to get involved.

The next steps will likely be more effective if you take the time to do them over the course of a few days or weeks. Don’t try to do it all at once. The idea is to keep the “fun” flowing.

I. Getting Creative Together

Start your family mission statement experience by getting the creative juices flowing. Before you jump into the writing portion, spend some time getting your family engaged with the idea of what a family mission statement is and what it contains. Use activities that allow each individual to privately consider what they think should be part of the family culture, and how they want it to feel in their family.  Here are some ideas to get ideas flowing and help everyone feel involved.

A. The Core Values Box

Core values are simply people, activities, beliefs, skills or things that matter most to us. Core values range from concepts like love and acceptance, to material things like a home. Other examples are things like caring for animals, honesty, entrepreneurialism, freedom, wise money management, or education, etc.

As a family, decorate a Core Values box and put it in a prominent location in your home, like your dining table. You could decorate it like a collage with pictures that identify things your family values, or everyone can take a side to decorate however they wish. The idea is to get everyone engaged with the Core Values box.

During your activity and throughout the week everyone will put core value ideas in the box as the ideas come to them. Then during your mission statement development activity you will open this box and use the ideas inside to create your first draft.

B. Core Values Collages

Gather magazines and other materials that can be used to create collages. Everyone will make their own collage depicting words and images that highlight how they want the family to feel and the core values that should become part of the family’s culture. Hang these pictures up in a prominent area of your home so that they can be pondered on throughout the week.

During your mission statement development activity give everyone some time to describe the meaning of the items on their collage. Have someone be writing down all of the ideas that each person shares, which will help you create your first draft.

C. Core Values Artwork

If you have younger children it might be more effective to create drawings or paintings that help your children describe their feelings about their family. Again, put these pictures in an area that will allow them to be seen, and ask your children often to describe the things they have drawn.

II. Getting Deeper Together

After you’ve taken the time to get some creativity flowing, and family members have begun to engage with the idea of how they want their family to feel and the elements of it’s culture that are important to them, it’s time to start asking the right questions to help deepen the articulation of the things that your family values.

Gather your family together for a question and answer activity. You can have each member write down their answers or have an open discussion with someone assigned as scribe to capture each person’s ideas.

Below is a list of various questions. Choose the questions that best fit your family, or make up your own.  If you have very young children make sure your questions are age appropriate.

Questions to consider when developing a family mission statement

1. What makes you happy?  What are those things in life that put a smile on your face and get you through your difficult days?

2. What makes us fulfilled?  What are those things in life that bring us the most satisfaction and leave us with the feeling of completeness?

3.     What do we want for ourselves and for our family?  What are our hopes, dreams, aspirations not only for our family, but for ourselves has well?

4.     What is most important to you about your family?

5.     What are your collective goals?

6.     When do you feel most connected to one another?

7.     How would you like to relate to one another?

8.     Describe your family’s strengths.

9.     Describe your family in 5 years…10 years…15 years.

10.   What do you value? (For example, relationships, faith, independence, wealth, hard work, generosity)

Questions from the FRANKLIN COVEY Family Mission Statement Creator

http://www.franklincovey.com/msb/missions/family/

1. We are at our best when . . .

2. We are at our worst when . . .

3. What do we really love to do together?

4. As a family, what can we better do to help each other?

5. As a family, what can we contribute to others, or how can we help others outside our family?

6. Are there things we should be doing or changing as a family, even thought we’ve dismissed such thoughts many time? What are these things?

7. Imagine a party celebrating our family 20 years from now. What do we want people to honestly say about our family? People view our family as:

8. If our home could be filled with one emotion, what would it be?

9. What are the principles we want our family to operate on? (Such as trust, honesty, kindness, service, etc.)

10. Let’s think of balance as a state of fulfillment and renewal in each of the four dimensions: physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional. What are the most important things we can do in each of these areas that will have the greatest positive impact in our family and help us achieve a sense of balance?

Physical:

Spiritual:

Mental:

Social/Emotional:

11. Imagine its ten years in the future. Envision where we want each member of our family to be.  What have we accomplished, how do we see ourselves?

NAME

Who will you be in 10 years?

III. Getting it Down Together

Finally, it’s time to start organizing your ideas into a concrete. Don’t allow this family activity to breakdown over “word-smithing” details. Later you will assign someone, usually mom or dad, the job of designing the final draft to bring back to the family for approval.

The easiest way to begin getting your family mission statement down is to choose a design formula that feels right for your family. Mom and dad should choose the formula before this activity begins.

Although there are many different forms that mission statements can take, here are three basic forms you could choose from.

FORUMLA #1

Gather together all of the core values you’ve identified as a family. Decrease these by two, then decrease by two again until you have one final core value. Keep track of your final 4-6 subsequent core values and then insert them into the formula below.

To (insert Central Core Value here) by [or through] (insert three to five Subsequent Core Values here).

EXAMPLE

Our Family Mission

To encourage others to become like Christ through loving relationships,
healthy lifestyles, and stimulating experiences.

FORMULA #2

To…. (Do something)

In such a way that….. (Quality of action)

So that…. (We gain these results or benefits)

EXAMPLE

Our Family Mission

To realize our dreams, goals, and aspirations as a family and as individuals in a way that stretches our intellect, enriches our Christian faith, strengthens our character, and enriches our family life. So that we are fulfilled, happy, confident, and always close.

FORMULA #3

Just create a big list of the things that matter to you. Use words such as “are” and “is” rather than terms that suggest “will be.”

EXAMPLE

The Olsen Family Mission Statement

·  We love and obey God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

·  We celebrate our family’s faith, heritage, and traditions.

·  We show our love for one another in word and deed; we pray for each other; we are courteous, caring, positive, supportive, and considerate.

·  We live a healthy lifestyle, and maintain order and cleanliness in the home.

·  We raise up children in the way they should go; making learning together an integral part of daily life with books and enriching experiences.

·  We optimize the competing forces in our lives for good: health, wealth, aesthetics, rest, exercise, recreation, work, skills, and knowledge.

·  We enjoy life today and live it fully; we accept the wonderful gifts from God: forgiveness of sins and eternal life through the sacrifice of His Son.

·  We are wise in the way we use our time, talents, and money; we establish good habits, help others, and teach them the truth of God’s salvation.

·  We contribute something of worth to the community; maintain the environment, mankind’s institutions, and religious, political, cultural, social, and individual freedoms, all to glorify God.

Our family felt most connected to the Big List. Here’s our family mission statement.

The Palmer Family Mission Statement

The JoyfulPalmers are a Team! Yeah!

We love, create, and protect family time, both one-one and everyone together.

We talk about our needs, thoughts and feelings, and we carefully listen to each other.

We treat each other with respect, patience, and kindness.

We speak and act in a way that allows the spirit to be with us.

We nurture, support, and celebrate each other’s ambitions, dreams and missions.

We are always honest and do the right thing even when no one is looking.

We courageously commit to public virtue.

We know that God loves us and we are wonderful and amazing!

We build our knowledge, skills, and attitudes of self-reliance and freedom.

We make everything around us better and more beautiful.

We build others up through service, sharing and love.

We protect our home and the Spirit dwells here.

We learn, live, and share the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Love is our compass and our anchor.

IV. The Final Draft

Don’t try to make the final draft as a family. It has the potential of creating too much contention. Once you’ve got the core ideas down, give someone the task of editing and making it sound good. Then it can be brought back to the family for the final unveiling.

Assignment #3: Make a plan for which activities you will use to prime your family’s pump of creativity, which questions you will ask, and the form that you want your mission statement to take. Then determine your timeline. As you develop your plan, give special attention to making these activities fun and memorable. Include food, or outings, or whatever will make the events special for your family.

Turn your family mission statement into a beautiful work of art. Visit Signs for Your Times http://signsforyourtimes.com/missionmain.htm to see the options for your Family’s mission statement.

Please share your family’s mission statement here in the comments section of this blog post. Your example will help other families as they work to create their own family mission statements.

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Family Mission Statement: Part II

by Mary Ann on June 14, 2010

Grandpa and Mary

For many of you, developing a family mission statement may have been on your “to do” list for a long time, but you’ve just never gotten around to it. Or, maybe the idea is new and a bit daunting.

Here are some sabotaging beliefs and myths that real people have said about mission statement development.1. “My children are too young to get involved yet.” Or, as one mom put it, “I don’t want my 4 year old influencing our mission statement.”

Even though children might not be able to articulate it, it matters quite a lot how their family “feels” to them. The family is a child’s world, and they can, even at very young ages, make valuable contributions to the discussion of what matters to the family. Even if children are to young to participate, it’s never too early to begin consciously creating the culture of your home through the development of a family mission statement. Their contribution might simply be participating in the daily reciting of the mission statement.

In our home we have a disabled, non-verbal four-year old, a very busy two-year old, and a five-month old. Our children were too young to have participated in the actual development of our family mission statement. But they very actively participate in the daily reciting of our statement. Our two-year old loves to say the first line, “The Joyful Palmers are a team! Yeah!”  Our disabled daughter engages with a huge smile, and the five-month old soaks in the feeling of it all.

With children that are a little older, they can contribute by drawing their ideas of what matters to the family, and how they would like the family to feel.

Child’s Mission Statement

2. My children are too old. I don’t think my children would accept it.

Older children may very well reject something that might challenge the current family status quo, or come down from the “powers that be.” Working with older children requires that we pay special attention to “doing the dance” of inspiring.

Primarily, a family mission statement should never come down as an edict from parents. No matter how fabulous your statement might sound, it must be created by joint effort to have any real investment by everybody. Consider engaging your older youth and young adults in a way that gives an air of anticipation and excitement to the development of this statement. In fact, be prepared to give some investment to this process. For example, consider taking a special family retreat, or maybe your children would respond with some private preparatory one-on-one talking. Never create it yourself and then announce it to the family as the new thing. Make it fun; involve food and activities that your family enjoys.

3. I’m not creative enough.

Mission statements don’t require creativity they require truth.

4. A mission statement has to be short, we can’t fit all that’s important to us in short statement.

Here’s an example of a family mission statement that is definitely not short.

Habits of Our Home
We obey the Lord Jesus Christ.
We love, honor and pray for each other.
We tell the truth.
We consider one another’s interest ahead of our own.
We do not hurt each other with unkind words or deeds.
We speak quietly and respectfully to one another.
When someone is sorry, we forgive him.
When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.
When someone is sad, we comfort him.
When someone needs correction, we correct him in love.
When we have something nice to share, we share it.
We take good care of everything God has given us.
We do not create unnecessary work for others.
When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.
When we open something, we close it.
When we turn something on, we turn it off.
When we don’t know what to do, we ask.
When we take something out, we put it away.
When we make a mess, we clean it up.
We arrive on time.
We do what we say.
We finish what we start.
We say please and thank you.
When we go out, we act as if we are in this house.
When necessary, we accept discipline and instruction.

5. A mission statement has to be long.

Here is an example of a short and sweet family mission statement.

Our Family Mission

To encourage others to become like Christ through loving relationships,
healthy lifestyles, and stimulating experiences.

6. I’m not sure we really need a family mission statement. We seem to be doing just fine without one.

That’s a fair evaluation if “just fine” is your standard.

Assignment #2: What roadblocks, if any, have been keeping your family from creating your own mission statement? Are these roadblocks real or excuses? If they are real write them down. Now begin considering solutions to these roadblocks. If you need help reach out to your spouse or a friend to help you begin seeing opportunities and solutions.

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A Family Mission Statement: Part 1

by Mary Ann on June 13, 2010

Sometimes, as a parent, we’re handed opportunities for self-evaluation on a sliver platter. I was handed such a dish the other day when I caught my two-year old son marching around the living room chanting, “Stop that! Now I have to take that away. Stop that! Now I have to take that away.” Good grief!

I’m happy to contrast that little ditty with something he was muttering in my ear a few nights ago as I was putting him to sleep. “Daddy loves you, daddy loves you, daddy loves you.”

It’s a bit overwhelming to think about how innocent my son is in his learning, how he soaks up everything that happens around him, and how real the Core Phase of learning is.

In those two little exchanges my son confirmed to me how important it is that I not take lightly the obligation I have as a parent to lay a right and solid foundation for him to build the rest of his life on.

As we think about the core and love of learning phases it’s important to remember that children learn more by what we are and the environment and feelings that surround them than through what we are trying to teach through activities.

If this is true, ask yourself, “how do we, as a family, consciously develop who we are and the environment and feelings that make up our home? What are we doing to consciously articulate the ‘curriculum’ of the Core development of our family?”

A family mission statement is this articulation of your families Core Curriculum.

A family mission statement becomes part of our family cannon and the inspiration of our family culture. In other words, it is what helps us consciously design the environment and feelings in our home that directly influence both the Core development of our children and the effectiveness of their later academic learning.

A Family Mission Statement breathes life into, or inspires our family culture.

There is another important element that a family mission statement brings to the table.

I’ve interviewed a number of families who said, “I’m not sure how much we really need a mission statement. It seems that the culture of our family is pretty good. We don’t have a formal, articulated mission statement, but we talk about the things that might be in a statement a lot.”

This is a model that works for many families. However, consider the specific model you are using to train your children in developing, managing, and leading their own families.

For these parents I interviewed, they were clear on the things they were teaching regularly to their children, which were influencing their family culture. But, were they also teaching their children how to do that in their own homes? Are their children even aware that there is a model to follow? Are they aware of the idea of culture, it’s purposeful creation, and the impact it has on the family?

A Family Mission Statement is not only an articulation of your family’s Core Curriculum; it’s also a specific model of training for good family development, management and leadership.

Through the course of the next few blog posts, I’ll be taking you through a number of exercises to help your family create your own inspiring family mission statement.

Assignment  #1: Begin by evaluating your family’s current culture. Consider the daily environment and feelings in your home. Talk to your spouse about it. Is your family environment, feelings, and culture such that they will inspire, or give life to a great Core Phase? Now, try a brainstorming exercise by asking yourself: what are the core things I want my child to do or know? Put your list somewhere so that you can add to it when things come to your mind.

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Guest Blogger

by Mary Ann on June 8, 2010

On June 18 my youngest child, and last child to leave home, is getting married. While we have been in the process of planning and preparing for her wedding I have been getting this blog up, doing webinars and workshops. It has been a VERY busy time. So, for the next 10 days I will be blogging very sporadically. However, I have a real treat for all of you.

I have invited Jodie Palmer to be a guest blogger for me. She will be talking about Family Mission Statements. This is a topic that can help every family have far greater success as they work on accomplishing goals that matter and creating wonderful family cultures.

We are so privilaged to have her time as she is an expert on this subject. Jodie Palmer serves on the Board of Trustees of the Midwives College of Utah and is a former President of that institution. She currently serves on the Board of the national Midwifery Education Accreditation Council. She received a bachelors degree in alternative health sciences and masters in education from George Wythe College. She is a former Director of Distance Studies, Instructor and Mentor for GWC. She has extensive experience as a presenter, including for UHEA, Youth for America, Thomas Jefferson Education Forum, American Red Cross, and numerous classes and seminars. She and her husband Doug live with their three children in Salt Lake City, Utah.
www.midwifery.edu
[email protected]

Enjoy her knowledge and do what she suggests and I will be back on line with my passion for education and families in 10 days.

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