Ash, “It helps me learn”

I saw the cutest thing while sitting in on one families “family learning time.” They have a daily game they play. It is a series of cards attached together like paint swatches. On each one are a number of questions about all kinds of topics. There is a set for kids under a certain age and one for older kids.

Each day they begin with a devotional and them mom reads to the kids. After that they open The Spark Station and each child can choose something to engage with or can read or play a game or whatever they choose. While each person is so engaged, their mom asks each one a question from the cards. They each take a few turns.

Now there is a 6 year old, a 10 year old, and a 12 year old. You might think that the 6 year old is at a disadvantage but he LOVES this game. He misses quite a few questions while his 12 year old sister gets quite a few. But he doesn’t bat an eye about it. I believe that is because they are equally excited when someone gets it right as when someone doesn’t. If it is answered correctly they all cheer and say how great that is and then talk a moment about the answer. If someone gets it wrong they all laugh at how some questions are so hard and how great that is and then they talk about it for a moment. It is fast paced; there is a lot of laughter and good spirits.

When asked why he loves the game the six year old said, “It helps me learn”. The questions help me find out what I know. You just gotta love that!

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The Importance Of Anticipation

by Mary Ann on May 25, 2010

Christmas at our house was as if the windows of heaven had opened. There were piles of shiny, colorful goods scattered all through the living room. As the oldest of nine children I had the privilege of seeing every one of those childhood Christmases.

What made it all so wonderful wasn’t what was in each pile but the sheer magnitude of the amount of goods scattered neatly about. Walking into that living room in the dimness of early morning, the red, green and orange of the Christmas tree giving a soft glow, was magic.

My parents weren’t wealthy; in fact I would say that we were on the bottom half of middle class most of the time and slipped even lower on occasion during my growing up years. Their secret to such extravagance at this one time of year was the Five and Dime, the Dollar store of the past. There might be one long sought after item that we had seen on TV or in a catalogue. The rest was a world of possibilities of hours of fun that we hadn’t even thought of.

The truth was that the contents of the pile didn’t radically change from year to year, that is until we entered our teens, but until then the same things, with a few changes, would be found year after year. We never grew tired of it because it was always about possibilities, it was freshly new. There would be color books, crayons, colored pencils, markers, scissors, glue, glitter, colored paper, pipe cleaners, sequins, paint, and chalk. We would find marbles, gyroscopes, pick up sticks, etch-a-sketch, magic erase boards, silly putty, paddle balls, board games, and clay, which eventually gave way to play dough. There would be card games, flash cards of every variety, paper dolls, tinker toys, Lincoln logs, a Light Bright with hundreds of colored pegs. There were doll houses with furniture, people, cars and animals. There were toy soldiers, cowboys and Indians, plastic farm animals with fences and barns, sewing cards, and an occasional kit of some kind or other. And don’t forget the books, lots and lots of delightful books.

Things rarely squeaked, talked, and boomed, crashed or made any other sound. All that had to be provided by us and our infinite imaginations. Those abundant and homely Christmases were a wonderful gift that our parents gave us.

In the homes of parents who want to utilize the Leadership Education model (TJED), there needs to be that sense of wonder and possibility that those early Christmases provided for  me. This can be accomplished by creating a Spark Station that children can’t wait to dive into. That Christmas morning sensation can happen every day when you remember the 5 rules of engagement: have a structured time for the closets use, be present, The Spark Station and its contents are only available during that special time, you keep it in order by not overloading it; when you put something in you take something out and by having a weekly planning session with yourself or your spouse.

When your Spark Station has that Christmas anticipation then you have succeeded in creating a magical learning space. In this space your children will learn to love learning. A warm and friendly “I want to be here” feeling will exist. This is possible for any family that will, whether they home school or attend public or private school, create a Spark Station and learn and use the five rules.

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Peanut Butter Cookies

by Mary Ann on May 24, 2010

Last night I went to make peanut butter cookies with some children that have become friends. They are 7, 4, and 2 and have a 4 year old cousin. This cooking lesson came on the heels of a very long day. We had planned it a week in advance and the kids were wired with anticipation. Yikes. They were full of energy and I was drained. But I am good with kid’s right. I do this kind of thing all the time. I can totally handle it.

We were going to video it and possibly put it on this blog. Not one thing went as planned. I had to take all the equipment and ingredients. I forgot the eggs and the cookie sheets. The kids started fighting right from the get go. I sat them all down and told them the few rules I have when I cook, you know, no fighting, take turns, and don’t criticize the other kids. They didn’t hear a WORD I SAID.

I briefly went into the living room to wait until they were ready to stop arguing with each other. I said “Call me when you are ready to cook.” About 5 minutes ticked by. They saw I was serious about the fighting and came and got me. We talked about ½, 1/3, and ¼ cups and how many of each made one cup. We talked about the teaspoons and tablespoons. We began measuring while I kept reminding them that they were in charge of themselves and not each other.

By the time we were through the two year old had tasted the shortening, one of the 4 year olds had been in the flour to her elbow, oatmeal was all over the table, the other 4 year old was eating the sugar. Ahhhhhhh. I could feel my frustration level rising. Eventually we were rolling balls of dough and flattening them on the pan…all except one of the 4 year olds. She was using the dough like play dough. I eventually broke my own rule about not meddling and parceled her dough out to everyone else so we could finish baking them. She was not a happy camper.

While the first batch was in the oven they all deserted me for the living room and mom who had some company. As I cleaned up the gigantic mess I thought about what I talk about on this blog all the time. Kids aren’t concerned with the outcome, the experience is what counts. Adults feel frustrated when they enter into a project with adult expectations and it doesn’t meet those expectations. What kids really want is your time and to know you cared enough to plan. Hmmmm. I felt the frustration going down.

About the time the first batch was done the kids were right back in the kitchen wanting to help take them off the pan. Very few made it off in one piece. In fact by the time they were all done we had a plate of very large crumbs and a kitchen full of happy kids. We sang a bunch of songs. While waiting for the cookies to bake, they got out paint and paper and made some beautiful pictures for me to take home. We were still friends despite my momentary frustration and rule breaking.

They are looking forward to my visit next Monday night. It’s going to be play dough!

I love them and they love me. The fact that we stuck with the project, well that was success to them and you know, to me too.

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Being Present

by Mary Ann on May 24, 2010

As many of you know I am in the process of writing a book about The Spark Station; all the details of how and why and what, that parents want to know. I spend a lot of time thinking about it and working on it. I came to a place where I knew I needed some inspiration and clarity. So I turned to some people that I really respect and whose opinions I value. I set up a Master Mind Group to run my thoughts and ideas by. It is very helpful.

I first learned about Master Mind Groups many years ago when my husband and I were running a home based business. We would meet together once a week and help each other out. We all had a business of one sort or another. I learned the power of support, the power of many good minds, and the power of creative help.

When my youngest daughter was a senior in high school she had an advanced writing class. One of her assignments was to write a poem using iambic pentameter. She was a bit overwhelmed by the assignment and wasn’t even clear as to what iambic pentameter meant. They had talked about it in class but most of you will relate to how clear it was by the time she got home.

Now I want you to know that I am not a fan of poetry unless it comes from Mother Goose. I am a bit ashamed to admit it and I know that I owe it to myself to read some poetry before I die. My daughter, however, likes it a lot. She really likes Shakespeare. She has read all of his works and all of his sonnets, watched many plays and acted the part of Hero from “Much Ado about Nothing” in 8th grade. Here is another confession- I have read Romeo and Juliet and seen The Taming of the Shrew.

So it wasn’t a very happy circumstance when she came to me and asked for help. In other words, she wanted to form a Master Mind team, her and me! Yikes. I had no idea what iambic pentameter was. But how could I say no to my daughter who wanted my presence and support. So we sat down at the computer together and began. We looked up iambic pentameter. We read it. We gave each other a blank stare and then read it again. Now I may not be much into poetry but I am pretty good at figuring out what I read. I started to get it and I was able to explain it to her. Then she was off and running.

We talked over possible topics for her poem. Then she chose one, actually one of her own ideas. She told me the story that she was envisioning her poem to tell. It was good, really good. Then she wrote the first line. I can see us pounding out the syllables into our hands and changing words until there were exactly ten syllables per line. We would come up with ordinary words and then go to the Thesaurus to find words a bit more descriptive, elegant or fitting the time period and topic. It was fun. We laughed a lot.

She wrote and rewrote for over 3 hours. I was there the whole time. I made a suggestion or two whenever she was stuck on a word or a thought and asked for help. She almost never used the word I suggested but it would spark her mind and she would come up with just the perfect word. She would look at me with an excited smile, raise her hand, and say “gimmie five”. I would, at regular intervals, say, “This is good; it’s really good. You are amazing!”

Tonight Kate was revising that old poem. She is now in college taking another creative writing class. Her assignment is to create an imaginary author, and describe his/her life. She has to present a piece of the imaginary persons writing and then analyze it. She is rewriting the poem which is about a sailor’s widow to one about a Civil War soldier’s widow.

I just happened to peek in her room to say hi and see what she was doing. “Mom, come in and let me read this to you.” Then she asked me to sit down and help her out.

We reminisced about the last time we worked on the poem together; all those great feelings came right back. We laughed about the experience and how fun it had been.

I sat on the side of her bed and watched her use the Thesaurus and the dictionary to find words she needed. I saw her look up Civil War information to get a feel for the period of time. I didn’t really say much. Her poem was coming along great. Soon I stood up, patted her back and left her to her work. She didn’t really need me.

This is a marvelous example of being present. We weren’t in a home school environment and she was far too old for  The Spark Station but she needed what all kids need, our presence, our support, our focus for just a bit of time and our enthusiasm. She really wrote the poem by herself back in high school. She thought she was asking me to help her do it. What she really was asking was, be with me, care about me, learn with me. This is Rule Two of the Five Rules of Engagement: Be Present.

That is the value of a consistent family learning time. It allows you to be present. Not to do for a child, but to support, to listen, to watch, to enjoy. The payoff of making this small sacrifice of time every day is bonding, trust, a relationship with the most wonderful and important people in your life.

Enjoy my daughters work. I think she will do GREAT Things!

The Widow’s Walk

By Kate Johnson

Upon the widows walk forlorn she stands.

Face gray, indistinct in the morning mist.

Iron railing, cold portent in her hands.

Heartache knocks, upon her cheeks he kissed.

Annals of mariners wives keeping pace,

Back and forth, eyes on the horizon.

Lives lost forty leagues below without trace.

Possibility, worry like poison.

Bells peal out, mournfully telling of loss,

Belaying her breath, they tacitly mock.

Mind shrouded, forever bearing the cross,

Endlessly trudging the high widow’s walk.

Hope springs eternal, they shall meet anon

Sighs a chantey to a roseate dawn.

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