Being stuck is what happens to mastodons who step into a black tar pit and the result is death and petrified bones. It is also what happens to humans who are traversing life!!
I am stuck and I have been stuck since spring. In fact, I have felt like a mastodon who is stuck in a pit and I have been trumpeting loudly (to God at least, “Help, Help! Get me out!!) Oh, if you lived with me you wouldn’t know, but I know. I know because I haven’t written blogs, I haven’t been out teaching. But here is how I really know, I don’t want to get out of bed and when I do I face the day with dread.
What is Wisdom and why do I need it?
Now I have an exceptionally strong will and so I do get out of bed, every day and on time. However, here is what I teach in my class on making lasting and desirable change: Will power is not enough. It requires wisdom. So what is wisdom? It is merely knowledge understood, which when coupled with the faith that what we have learned is true, moves us to action.
Here is another thing that I teach in class: We are responsible for everything that happens in our lives. I know this is true because I have experienced this principle for myself and it is fabulously freeing! Now you may not believe it. In fact you may be saying “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard”. That is exactly what I said when I first heard this truth. But that seed planted so long ago has grown into a full tree, with fruit to boot, and I know it is true.
Because of that wisdom which I have gained I have been moved to action in this situation. I have taken responsibility for the fact that I am low in spirit and that I don’t want to get out of bed. I haven’t looked outwards for anyone or anything to blame. I have gone inward to look for the culprit.
I have prayed a lot! I have pulled out lots of my best tools and I have been using them. I have checked the past: is there any grudge I am holding on to, any anger or other negative feeling. If I have run across anything I have used some great forgiveness exercises to root it out.
I have checked my shame bank. Have I made any recent deposits or is there anything hanging around in there from the past? An empty shame bank is a wealthy shame bank.
I have been checking out my body and asking questions. Your hip hurts. Hmmmm, why? Your neck is sore, let’s look at that. I have paid attention to my body clues and followed them. My body bible is the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. If I have found anything that has rung true I have gone to work on it, again using prayer and my quiver of wonderful mental and physical health tools.
You would think I have solved my dilemma, right. After all I have been diligently working for the last five months. Not so! So today I did another wise thing, I checked in with a mentor. Remember that will power is not enough. It requires wisdom to make lasting and useful change. I have learned that when you are stuck and have done all that you can, get a mentor, someone who can help you see what you cannot see or do not want to see.
We talked for about 30 minutes and I now have the next step. I still feel a bit of dread and I would still like to go back to bed but I am not stuck! I know the next step and I feel able to take it. There may be a real medical issue. I have had that thought in the back of my mind but I haven’t wanted to look at it square in the face and move forward. It isn’t even a big deal medical issue. But it will require time, money and attention that I didn’t want to give for many reasons.
Mentoring gets you unstuck!
Now I have a purpose sharing all of this with you. It isn’t just that I want you to know why I have been hiding all summer and fall, although I do want you to know. It isn’t because I want you to know that no matter how put together someone is they are like you…we all have problems, challenges and issues, although I do want you to know that.
I am telling you because I want you to understand that when you are stuck you need a mentor. It doesn’t matter if you are stuck in your business, parenting, personal development, education, health, relationships… You need a fresh perspective. You need someone who can help you go where you may not want to go. When you understand this and believe it is true you will have another drop of wisdom to call upon in times of need.
A mentor is someone who is a few steps ahead of you in a direction you want to go. It could be a friend, someone you admire, someone who is qualified that you pay, a spouse, a parent….they just have to be or be going where you want to go. One of the best mentors is God but sometimes He sends you to a friend, someone you admire, someone who is qualified that you pay, a spouse, a parent ….
Although I now have to move in a direction I really didn’t want to go I feel better. I feel unstuck. I may wish I could just go to bed but I feel better than when I didn’t know what to do next. Taking responsibility and facing yourself, through good tools and maybe even a great mentor, feels far better than lying in bed…stuck!
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